Insomnia
by ShyLikeThat
Summary: Alice looked at him, wide-eyed. "But I thought you had all the answers!" Cat glanced at her. "If I did, then I wouldn't have shot out of your head like some coward, now, would I?"
1. Split my head open like Athena

Insomnia

Disclaimer: Alice in Wonderland and all its characters are owned by Lewis Carroll, or Charles Dodgson.

* * *

-X-

There had been a critical point after Alice's leave from Wonderland that had made the Queen want to chase after the girl, decapitate her, and then have a new crown made of Caucasian human skin and golden hair, of course pointing out the fact that her Royal Highness was a brunette.

She had convinced herself that in order to do that, she needed to leave Wonderland too, and really believed that it was possible.

When the King heard of this, he immediately rushed to his darling's side and told her that she _would_ have an Alice crown, and she could even skin it herself, if she had wanted. But there was _no need_ to leave Wonderland, he cooed and cooed again.

Still, Her Royal Highness wasn't satisfied.

Stories spread.

The Mad Hatter had commented with a horrifying laugh, that the idea was so stupid it might actually work.

The Caterpillar said it would.

The Cat said it will.

* * *

Alice, amidst the entire conundrum unknowingly going inside the right side of her brain, was troubled.

Though troubled as a 15-year-old should be.

If only Gina Hitchbottoms would stop taking her lunch everyday, and if only the boys at school would stop harassing her and calling her a wench for having tripped and flashed her underwear at class this afternoon, then maybe she could stop waking up with hiccups going off her throat and wet tear streaks trailing at her cheeks.

She couldn't sleep. She didn't know why. Was that _why?_

And then one night, tonight precisely, she woke up with a frightful scream and a splitting headache that wanted to crack itself open.

She thrashed wildly at her bed, falling off at her floor. She banged her knee at the hard, wooden dashboard, a purple bruise forming at the center. Her hands grabbed fistfuls of her hair and tugged at it and pulled at it and screamed unmercifully, rolling and rolling and rolling around because her head hurt so much. Tears burst out of her eyes, uncontrollable. The pain was drowning her.

Her fingers writhed at her sides as her body lashed around the room, knocking things over. Her legs kicked wildly at her rug, then at the foot of her bed, bashing it repeatedly.

Something was coming out. _It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!_

She wailed, desperately wanting it to end. And then she started sobbing and shaking and laughing and screeching manically all at the same time.

It was tugging at her head. _Let me out, let me out now! _It snarled. Her neck was jerking upwards.

A pierce throbbing was cutting open at the top of her head. Her arms collapsed, the feeling of her brain was on fire. And when she had finally thought that she was going to die, it all stopped abruptly as it had begun.

She fell to the side with stinging numbness, the feeling of soft, prickly needles penetrating her. Her nerves screamed silently.

_It's okay, it's okay, it's okay_. It ushered. Alice's eyes angled her room with fright, panicked, looking for the voice. Anything. Where...?

It continued, speaking so delightfully that she was almost convinced it wasn't a monster. The whispers circled her mind, persuasive, like a solemn, broken song. _You're fine, you're fine, you're all right. I'm out now, you see? _She closed her eyes tightly, hiccuping. Her legs curled up to her chest, and she wrapped her stiff arms around them for a false sense of security.

Her heart beat was racing.

_B-bmp… B-bmp… B-bmp… B-bmp... B-bmp..._

But that wasn't hers.

Alice wept, scared, but she forced herself to listen. Her pupils were blurry from her tears, though she searched her room. Nobody was there.

She checked again.

A mistake.

_There he was._

A boy with cat-like yellow eyes and slit pupils, a pale complexion, and… and pink… hair—?

He… he was materializing by the second!

"That's not a very lady-like posture you have there," He greeted.

Alice shrieked, sitting up in horror.

The boy, with his now fully solid hands, suddenly grabbed Alice and covered her mouth, muffling her shrieks for help.

"Easy, love." He said, purring a bit. "We don't want your parents running here right now."

"Mmm-hm mmm Mhmm!"

"Pardon?" He took his hand off her mouth.

"W-who are you...?" She stuttered, eyes wide and uncertain. Feeling what the boy had said was true, she straightened up immediately, tucking a stray hair behind her ears and looking up at him from her lowered gaze, tasting the saltiness of the tears that ran past her lips.

The boy's head and arms were the only things visible of him. The other missing body parts were still constructing themselves, like tiny little atoms sewing each other one by one. He was like a floating cherub, only perhaps more devilish.

She stared at the small, fizzy particles, and in a daze, ran her fingers through it. He slapped her hand away.

"I see you still have your morbid curiosity," He drawled.

"Not really," Alice answered, her usual self more quiet but strong-willed. "I only ask essential questions now."

He didn't say anything, only narrowed his eyes. The upper part of his body, his neck, shoulders, and his chest were now beginning to form.

Alice stared at him more thoroughly, as if she had just been granted access.

She leaned forward, eyebrows knitting in hesitated seriousness. "W-who are you?" Her voice tried to sound demanding, only to come out terrified and small.

He looked up at her, eyes meeting. "S'not really the most essential question to ask, is it, sweetpea?" The nickname rolled out of his lips like water slipped off ducks.

"Don't call me that." She snapped all of a sudden, angry that he was being so familiar with her when they didn't even know each other. The swift look in his glinting, yellow eyes begged to differ. Then it was gone. Then it was back again. "Stop it." Alice hissed. "Why're you asking me?"

"Asking who?"

"Stop deliberating, cat!"

The girl's eyes widened in shock, realization immediately hitting her in the face like a ton of bricks. She stared at him, hands flying to cover her mouth.

Cat didn't grin. "I expected it'd at least take you days."

"No you didn't." She whispered softly, almost confident that _he didn't expect anything because he already knew everything._ She fought hard to block the rising terror in her throat, ready to scream and shriek once the numbness settled out.

The real Alice was lost. Still shocked that he was there right now. Still couldn't believe that this was happening to her.

Cat stared, taking in her almost traumatized expression. "I suppose you're right." He contemplated.

"No I'm not." She said quickly, almost carelessly. If this _was_ true, then she had learned that agreeing with him wasn't really the smartest thing to do back in Wonderland, if you did want to be smart. "I mean, _I don't know_, since you're the one who—"

Cat flashed the girl a malicious look. "Stop it,"

His knees were now fully solid too.

"But how..." She gave him a panicked stare. "I... I don't understand. H-how did you…? _Why…_?"

Alice suddenly stopped talking and closed her eyes tightly, counting to ten. _This isn't real, this isn't real. Snap out of it you delirious girl!_ She thought crudely, and opened her eyes again. She let out a loud sob when his face didn't disappear.

"Please. Please, please tell me that I'm not dreaming." She wept, mumbling through her tears. "I can't _bear_ to go to that place ever, ever again." Her breath shivered, and she glanced at him with crying eyes.

"Why not?" His question was innocent enough. Pfft. _Not really_. Cat's head tilted to the side, ready to fall off.

"Because this is what happened to me after I did."

"What happened?" His ears twitched, as if they were still cat ears.

She looked down at the carpet. "I'm not sure." She answered in all honesty, looking at him. "That's the problem."

_Honestly_, if you had even bothered to ask her, her life was fine. Far from fine, in fact, it was normal to the point of dull. It was safe too, nonetheless. She was fed. She was schooled. She was clothed. But Alice still felt uneasy.

Silent tears fell. _Drip, drip._

"No, you're not dreaming." The boy confirmed with a fast blink. He wasn't one to blink much, though.

"This is real then?" She hiccuped, now calming down.

"If this is what you'd call reality—" He cut himself off. "Yes. Entirely. This." He did a complicated gesture around her room.

"But I don't want it to be real, either." She whined childishly, her wet face slipping into delicate fingers.

"And I suppose you have a very good reason for this."

Her face hardened. She looked at him.

"I don't want to go among _mad_ people."

Cat's eyes narrowed. He stared at her very, very seriously. "But we're not mad, Alice. At least, not anymore."

* * *

Alice bit her tongue from saying anything else.

She stayed silent, her eyes refusing to look at his until she chose her words carefully. "It was painful, when you came out of my head..." She said, hoping to break the tension with a joke, though he didn't bother replying to her.

Alice sighed. "You don't grin any more, Cat." She said, observing him cautiously when he didn't reply.

His golden eyes looked at her.

"In fact, you haven't grinned since you got here." She recalled, thinking.

Her words were childish. Child-like. She replied by taking notes on his behavior. She didn't understand the importance of his words.

_We're not mad, Alice. At least, not anymore._

"You used to be rather talkative." She added cheekily, carelessly. "You couldn't shut up—"

It only took a moment before she had finally caused him to snap.

"It's because you don't ask any more questions." He spoke angrily, eyes flashing. "Why?"

"I forget to." She answered lamely.

"Wonderland is fading." Cat hissed. "And I don't mean that in some sort of _idiotic_ metaphor."

She blanched at his words, though grew as indignant as him. "So what if Wonderland is fading?" She said coldly, staring at her wall. "I don't like it there anyway. Isn't that what matters most?"

Cat paused. What mattered most? Well, he's never thought of it _that_ way before.

His anger dissipated almost instantly. "If that's the way you see it." Cat left off, thinking. He wasn't one to blab out answers.

Alice shut her eyes tightly, tuning him out. Forgotten scenes played inside her mind like a deck of cards. _Swish, swish, swoosh_.

"If Wonderland's fading, then you can stay here for a short period of time." She decided finally, after a few seconds. She glanced back at his serious expression, then winced. It didn't quite match.

"And _then_ you jump back in, alright? I'll build a new one. Something _I_ like."

Cat merely stared at her, raising a brow.

_Help me, help me, help me._

* * *

"Cat," Alice whispered in the darkness.

"What?"

"Are you awake?"

"I'm speaking to you, aren't I?"

"Then what're you doing?"

"Reading."

"There's no light."

"S'not a problem."

"Hey. You're not talking in riddles anymore."

There was a shuffling of pages, and a moving of a limb. She was met with cool silence.

Alice clicked her tongue, her eyebrows coming together. She pushed her luck when she decided that she wouldn't be satisfied without a reply. "Cat."

"_What?_"

"You're still not grinning, either."

He didn't answer. His lips parted. Instead, "Alice?"

"Yes?" She caught hold of his glowing eyes, eerily yellow in the night.

"Sleep."

* * *

Alice awoke the second time that night, screaming horribly.

Yellow irises turned to her in the dark.

She didn't care. She placed her head at her hands and wept, her hair curtaining around her.

Cat turned to his book once again. For a questionable moment, he thought that his predictions were wrong. He thought with an awful frown that they might've found an exit out earlier than expected. That just wouldn't do.

The girl was only crying, though.

"Do you do this every night?" He asked out of idle conversation.

"Yes. I hate sleeping." She answered softly, catching a tear. _You won't wet my pillow this time_. She sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Hmm." Cat thought. "How do you replace the gallons of tears you waste?"

"I drink a lot of water."

"Huh." He murmured, flipping a page. "You can die from that."

Alice wept more.

* * *

_Beware the Jabberwock, my son!_

Something was reciting it to her in a melodic voice.

_The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!_

Alice turned around. Thousands upon thousands of flowers littered the fields, all singing quite frenziedly for a lullaby.

_Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun!_

The sky turned dark. The clouds turned gray, hanging low.

_The frumious Bandersnatch!_

A beast formed out of the shadows, its neck extending. It reached into the garden, ripping and eating the flowers with its many jaws. The colorful flowers all shouted with glee, singing and dancing and laughing and pulling her along towards them, their eyes turning dirty black and their petals wilting as she kicked and screamed, pulling at the grass and at the flowers. Then—

Then, inevitably, tears started to fall.

Alice's eyes snapped open. She sat up on her bed, her forehead shining with sweat before she immediately started to sob again. Her breath came out in quick, sharp gasps as if she was hurt, her frame trembling uncontrollably in the dark.

Cat's head cocked up, stirring away from his sleep. The remnants of the girl's soft crying and whimpering broke through his ears, forcing him to wake up.

"Cat?" Her voice shook, weeping.

He didn't try to suppress the annoyance in his tone. "Yes?"

"Distract me. Hurry."

He rolled his eyes. "A nameless boy killed them. Its a happy ending."

"… H-how did you know that?" Alice's sobbing had eased, just enough for her to look up at him in suspicion.

"Know what?"

"That I was having that nightmare... The flowers... and... and the lullabies, the monster—! _Happy ending?_ You knew, didn't you!"

"That you were dreaming?"

"Nightmare!" She corrected exasperatedly.

"Nightmare what?"

"Oh, Christ." Alice sniffled.

Cat gave her a sparing glance. "In any case, since you're awake and all, you might as well listen."

"Go on," She continued miserably.

"They're all coming. Wonderland is fading, and I'm not the only one who wants to escape."

Alice had been droning off, not really paying attention. Then she paused, blinking when it occurred to her that what he said actually made a little bit of sense.

She rose out of the covers. "_What!?_"

"Hmm?"

"Cat— Cat! What did you _say?_"

"I asked you if tuna would taste better if it was dipped in milk."

"No! Not that, the other one!

"No? I thought it'd taste a whole lot better."

"Cat, please." Alice broke out into a sob, her breath hitching. "Tell me, tell me. I don't want to go there again. I don't... I don't..." She cried, shoulders trembling as she buried her face into her hands, weeping softly.

Cat stayed silent, his golden eyes never leaving her face.

_It hurts, it hurts, it hurts._

_Its fine, its fine. You're okay, you're alright. I'm out now, you see?_

* * *

A/N: Edited. Alice is now 15 instead of 14, as I realized 14 was too young.


	2. Cut off your nose to spite your face

Insomnia

-X-

Chapter 2: Cut off your nose to spite your face.

* * *

_So when the deep night came, Alice often stared at Cat's slow and heaving chest in envy, thinking how a… a terrible cat-boy like him got to sleep and she couldn't._

* * *

"Good morning, Alice." Something in her face had purred when she woke up.

But Alice didn't really "sleep" and she didn't really "wake up", so instead she jolted in surprise, realizing that there was an added weight to her bed. And it weighed more than her too. Her eyes refocused, making her look like a crossed-eyed little girl that should've been thrown in an asylum.

She hit her head against Cat's, and his breath tickled her nose. Alice finally decided to stop being so retarded, figured things out, and screamed horrifyingly when his face came in too closely to hers.

Cat looked at her in shock, the shrill sound her throat was resonating hurting his too-sensitive-and-not-quite-human-yet-ears.

He tumbled out of the way but she slapped him still, unknowing what else to do.

Alice looked at him sheepishly. "Sorry," she said, but deciphered that it was his fault for assaulting her anyway.

The boy didn't respond.

"I said I was sorry," Alice defended, muttering other things. Cat only stared at her boredly and she rolled her eyes, "Oh forget it. I have school anyway,"

"School?" the sudden tone of his feline voice made her jump as she climbed out of bed.

Alice considered him. "Yes, school. Why?"

Cat shrugged, now feeling at least a little bit animated to her relief. "Nothing much." He ignored her exasperated look. "Just thought you were too young for it."

Blue eyes suddenly blinked in astonishment. "Too young for it?" Alice repeated incredulously. "Too young for school? Surely you're joking. You really don't believe that I just stay at my room and daydream, do you?"

"You used to,"

"I was eight." She said the words gravely. "Simple-minded. Naïve, you know."

Cat regarded her coolly. "What's your point?"

Alice's eyes narrowed, her mouth frowning in annoyance. It made her feel frustrated, how he pretended to know her. Every detail, every section, and every paragraph.

_You say it like I don't._

She grimaced at the words. The memory of the night before came flooding at her mind like the sea, coming at her in harsh tides. It was something she hoped she could've went without ever remembering. How she cried and embarrassed herself and mutually asked for this strange cat thing's comfort.

Alice hated it.

Hmm, Wonderland was fading, huh? Good riddance.

"I'm growing up, Cat." She began matter-of-factly, placing a for-your-information hand on her hip. "I've more serious problems. Soon I'll be out of this house and going someplace else. Like traveling, and I'll even become a professor."

Cat regarded her with an amused look. Of course, he had to ruin it. "Huh. And here I thought women were only educated so they won't embarrass their husbands."

Alice stared at him, baffled.

"What? Don't pretend like it's surprising, really Alice, my dear."

"Don't call me that," She hissed, but then reminded herself that she'd be late for school.

"Are you really going to leave?" Cat questioned suddenly, making her stop. His head was tilted to the side.

"Yes. What's it to you?"

He glared at her, and the look he gave told her everything.

Alice blinked, taken aback.

Maybe, Wonderland fading really did bother him, and maybe, he really did take her words seriously. That she'd build a new one, a better one, something ___she _liked. But she didn't even know how she built the first one in the first place. Much less build another one made entirely out of… out of what? Leftovers?

And what if she failed? Would he do something to her?

His eyebrows suddenly furrowed when he saw her face twist. "Alice, we need to talk."

"Do you?" she gazed at him, sapphire eyes laughing in disbelief. "Because I was thinking—___maybe now _you'd know how ___I _felt when I asked ___you_for directions."

Cat's face curled, and Alice immediately felt guilty. Her mouth opened, speaking in its own accord.

"I-I'll try, okay?"

After they were all done and finished, and when he could finally go back to being that smug little creature that couldn't wipe that grin off its face, she wondered if then, they'd all still care.

* * *

Alice brushed the top of her feather quill pen against her chin, ignoring how it tickled and everything, continuing to copy words from her copybook.

A note flew down at her desk, halting her progress.

At first, Alice ignored it, rolling her eyes and returning to her work. But then the paper stuck on her peripheral vision and curiosity got a hold of her. She snatched the paper and looked up; making sure the teacher wasn't paying attention.

Alice opened it hastily and her eyes tightened, suddenly wishing that she didn't.

She looked behind her, and a couple of boys sniggered her way. Alice only scoffed, pretending not to care. She still didn't care when their quiet snickering erupted into laughter. But she couldn't quite lie to herself and say that she still didn't care, when a single tear slid down her cheek.

The girl suddenly blinked in horror, coming to realization. She quickly flicked it off before anyone could see and crumpled the piece of paper just as fast as she'd discarded it.

Her breath shivered and she closed her eyes, making sure that she wouldn't burst out crying in the middle of class just because she'd stupidly tripped and ruined her reputation.

Dignity. It was all that was left.

* * *

Recess came. Alice bit into her sandwich carefully, tasting nothing but salivating it.

"Alice..." Rachel Spoon began, dropping her biscuit into a napkin. Rachel gave her an awful look, seeming torn. "I… I can't be friends with you anymore."

"What?" This startled her. Alice stared at her friend—or seatmate, desperately, her eyebrows pulling together in panic. "Why not?"

"Because… I-I just can't. The other boys would start teasing me too, a-and my mother… she thinks you're a bad influence."

"A bad influence? But Rachel, you did tell your mother that I study all the time, right? I do well in school and… and I'm not a slut, I—"

"Gretchen said that you don't even have problems undressing in front of a boy!" Rachel shouted all if a sudden.

Everybody stared at their direction, surprised at her outburst.

Alice was quiet about this. That wasn't true. Her voice broke, "You… you actually don't believer her, right?"

"I-I wish, Alice. But the way you act… I-it's strange."

"But you're supposed to be my friend!"

"I-I know! But there's only so much I can take! Your behavior is so... it's—you try too hard, and— and... it's not working at all."

The words felt like a slap. Alice began to shake, but she steeled herself. Not here, not now. I just need—

"A-and how do I act?"

"I don't know! I'm sorry, Alice." Rachel bit, her eyes boring at the other girl's sorrowfully, like it could actually soften the blow. She gathered her lunch slowly into her lap, wanting to leave but at the same time wanting to stay. Rachel sighed and gave her a pitiable look.

"I really don't want to be the villain here, Alice." she whispered softly.

Alice only nodded, pretending to understand. But she couldn't. She didn't want to. What she wanted to do was to cry so badly right here and right now, but couldn't even bring herself to do it.

She wasn't supposed to ___cry_in school, she was supposed to ___like_it. It was a distraction. Everybody paid attention to you so hard so you'd be more careful, be more aware. So you wouldn't make stupid mistakes and… and—she was supposed to like things like that, right?

A stray hair fell in front of the blonde girl's face and she dropped her sandwich, tucking the strand behind her ear and losing her appetite.

That was then that Alice looked up, staring into the wide face of Gina Hitchbottoms, then her twitching plump hands.

Gina smiled wryly. "Hey, bookworm, where's my homework?"

"H-homework…?" Alice repeated in a quiet voice.

"Yes, homework." Gina Hitchbottoms hissed, her large stature towering over Alice's form, her shadow so big it blocked out the sun. Just the slight jerk of her hand made Alice flinch.

"Y'know, the assignment that I was supposed to turn in today?"

"Oh, r-right."

"So..." Gina waited, expecting the girl to hand it over right now. When she didn't, Gina scowled. "Where is it?"

Alice's fingers had started to play nervously at the hems of her skirt, "I… I forgot…" she said miserably, stuttering. The blonde girl quickly looked up, flashing her hands in front of her to stop Gina from pummeling her face.

"L-look, Gina, I-I can do it today, if you'll just give me time and—" her words were colliding with each other much too fast.

"You can't, moron!" Gina snarled aggressively, and Alice cringed, automatically turning the other way. She could hear her heart pounding in terrifyingly in her ears.

"The teacher'll see you, and breaks the only time in school where we get to see each other! So… I guess you'll just have to give me yours, since after all, you don't want me to fail, right, Alice?"

Alice couldn't say anything, only nodded fervently.

"That would be a no, Miss Alice." A sudden voice interrupted. Alice's eyes widened, relief washing over her like a tub. Gina turned around a little too late, mouth opening idiotically.

"Would you join me in my office, Miss Hitchbottoms?"

"Y-yes, sir." Gina looked back at Alice, giving her one last snarl and hissing in a tone much too low for the teacher to hear. "You are dead-meat."

* * *

Cat's head snapped up to hers once the door closed with a soft "click".

He looked perplexed, one might even say surprised.

"What happened to your face?" Cat rudely asked, his hand paused at pulling out a book from her bookshelf.

"Nothing," Alice dismissed it, turning straight towards her bed and muffling her face with a pillow.

"Yes. Because your body language ___obviously _dropped all suspicions. What ___happened_to your jaw?" Cat asked, his voice cringing after he saw the monstrosity.

Alice had refused to look up, now that he had crossed the distance between them and sat right in front of her, pulling the pillow away from her hands.

She turned her head so he wouldn't see, the blonde curls slightly slapping him in the cheek as she did so.

"I SAID it's nothing. Go away, Cat."

"Let me see," he insisted, taking her chin towards him.

Alice flinched. "No! You can't touch me! I-Its improper behavior, and—"

"Oh shut up, Alice. Just let me take a glance—"

"N-no!" she shrieked.

"Don't be such a—"

"But we can't—"

At the other side of the door, the maid had paused from knocking and simply put her hand down. She turned around, climbed downstairs, and set aside the glass of milk for the young madam later.

Cat turned Alice's cheek forcefully, softly gripping her hands when they tried to slap him once again.

The girl finally gave and closed her eyes tightly, whimpering at his touch.

"What happened?" Cat spoke in an even tone, watching her expression.

"I-I," her voice cracked, and she immediately tore away from his gaze. "Nothing happened. I'm telling you—"

He ignored her, softly placing two fingers underneath her left eye, and then pushed.

Alice let out a sharp cry of pain, before her face twisted in horrored realization. The girl burst out into tears, wrenching her hands free from his and wiping her eyes, cringing when she touched the damaged one and then cried harder.

"I thought it was nothing," Cat bit, sniffing a little.

The blond girl gazed at him though her blue eyes, blurry from her tears. She choked at her words. "Wh-what am I supposed to do? I can't let my parents see this—this—this ___thing_!" she wept terribly. "I-I can't, I'll get in more trouble…! What if…? _What if…?_"

Alice snorted indignantly, trying to breathe through her nose. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying the night before, and her cheeks felt swollen from sobbing too much. She was talking to herself, trying to say that it was all going to be all right but at the same time pressuring about how she could've done something—stood up to Gina, run away, told someone, ___finally _stand up to Gina, told her father, _f____inally finally _stand up to the girl who'd been harassing her—everybody for more than a year.

But she couldn't. She was too scared.

Cat's eyebrows rose. "What? Did your teacher discipline you?"

The girl ceased from crying momentarily, calming down just enough to look at him and lie.

"Yes…"

* * *

The next day came. When the sun was bright enough, Alice instantly went to the bathroom and to the mirror, examining herself.

All was fine with her face, except for the purplish blue eye that stared back at her horrifyingly. Alice touched the spot with a light finger, hissed, and then bit her lip from crying. She needn't bother it again. She stared down at the sink, wanting to throw up because she knew that she'd have to face her parents soon, and go to school where everybody would pleasantly tease her forever.

* * *

There was something wrong with Cat.

In the literary sense, since others would want to argue. And naturally, he already knew about this. He was just waiting now.

His left eye then darkened almost immediately, blind. Cat scoffed. Of course.

Alice entered the room all of a sudden, miserable but determined. "I've decided I'm going to school after all."

"Huh," Cat replied in a blank voice, twisting around to face her. "And I've gone blind in my left eye. Isn't that a coincidence?"

Alice gave him a confused look. "How is that a coincidence?"

Cat gestured at her purple eye socket, if a little mockingly.

She sighed. "I suppose you'll say it's my fault," she muttered dejectedly, sitting at her bed.

"It is."

Alice just looked up to glare at him. Then there was silence before she finally picked up her dampened spirits and collected her things, gathering her books into her arms and standing up. It was time for school anyway. It was great that her enthusiasm was already broken.

She marched towards the door, her hand at the doorknob and her foot ready to leave. And once she'd set foot at the divide between her room and the hallway, Alice knew that her maid would be there, waiting to walk her to the door.

But Cat suddenly caught her arm, dragging her back inside and shutting the door. The maid only blinked confusedly, a puzzled look on her face.

He wrenched his hand back when he realized he was still holding her, as if her arm was acidic to the touch. He flexed his fingers, looking down at her since he was obviously taller. "Sorry. I'm going with you." He decided all of a sudden, changing the subject like the first part didn't matter at all.

At first, Alice rubbed the spot on her arm from where he'd touched her, the heat of his skin still tingling there and making her feel uncomfortable.

She paused when his words clicked inside her brain.

"What?" she asked incredulously. "And... and you're serious about ___this_?"

"That's the problem!" his form snarled at the choice of her words, forgetting hisself. Cat closed his eyes, and then opened them once again. "That's the problem." He repeated more calmly.

"Uh-hmm. Because what you said made total sense." Alice gave him a sour look.

"I'll take it you said yes—"

"Wait!" Alice stopped him from crossing the door, suddenly tense and panicking. He wasn't allowed to grab her arm, but she was. She pushed him back behind her, unto the bed and hissed.

"You can't just go on and stroll there! I forbid you! I don't want you to go there with me! My friends, my schoolmates—the teachers! Oh, the things they'd say, I wish you'd just know. And what if my parents found out! Look, I don't know how YOU do things, but I,___I _don't allow strangers to walk with me to school, and___I_—"

"But I'm not a stranger, am I?" Cat started knowingly, doing a fast blink. He rose from the bed, standing over Alice.

The girl suddenly felt intimidated, now very aware of their height differences. He cornered her, and she backed up towards the door, placing a cold hand at the doorknob.

"Actually, Alice, I think you'll feel more comfortable with me than any of your other friends, or your schoolmates, or your teachers."

"Stop it," she snarled.

"Rather, I know it." He continued, ignoring her.

"Cat. Stop. Now." Alice repeated each syllable like they were heavy and repulsive to her tongue.

"Would you like to know why?" he asked, advancing towards her.

"No. Stay away from me." She demanded.

"Then. Would you like me to___say _why?" Cat questioned speculatively, walking slow.

"That's enough…!"

He leaned down to her shoulder, carefully moving his hand to cup over her ear, whispering. "It's because—"

Alice pushed him away, her eyes drenching in hot tears. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it.

_Why?_

Because I already know! I already know, okay? I already said I've had enough.

_Why?_

Go away! I don't need this.

_Alice, look at me._

Alice turned around, leaving those shrill, unscreamed words hanging in the air, drifting father and father apart. She had more on her mind, but she was too scared to say it.

She stormed out of the door, but looked back over her shoulder, quickly wiping the shameful tears at her eyes.

"And don't you dare follow."

* * *

"What's the matter, Alice?" Richard grinned. He ducked his head to see her covered face, then laughed.

"Did you cry?"

"Richard, leave me alone." Alice spoke, her tone depressing. She bit her lip, wishing he'd leave it at that.

But he didn't seem to get the message. Richard only grinned more. "I bet you did cry. You almost cried at class today too, when we sent you that note."

"I did not."

"Yes you did."

"_I did not_, okay!"

"Tch. Aw, don't tell me. Is the wittle girl about to cry again?" he teased.

"Stop it; I'm not in the mood!" Alice hissed, quickening her pace.

"Why?" Richard grinned again. "You deserve it. Hey, Alice, are you going you accidentally trip again? That'd be fun."

Alice didn't bother replying anymore. She rolled her eyes, her hands swinging in synchronicity with her feet. Keep walking, keep walking. Hope it'll stop.

"I mean, everybody's talking about it. Save us a boring afternoon and tell the truth already. Look, Alice—" He placed a swift hand at her shoulder, stopping her momentarily.

Alice dropped it, shrugging it off with abhorrence. "Don't touch me!"

His eyebrows rose, then came in together, furrowed. Richard's face pulled into a snarl before he thought better of it, and a fast smile flashed at his face.

"Say, how'd it go again?" Richard asked, suddenly taking a pause. "Didn't you trip like this—" his smile outstretched into a shameless grin, clutching the hems of her dress and then lifting it.

Alice's face drained of color at his laugh, before red liquid quickly came and traveled to her eyes. She turned around so fast, that the boy bumped into her back absentmindedly, still laughing like an idiot until she brought her hand up and slapped him across the face with it.

Once the echo vibrated though the halls, students came pooling out of their classes. They saw Alice, her skirt untouched, and then saw Richard, a glowing handprint at his cheeks.

His eyes widened at her and he shook, stunned at the stinging pain at his cheek, couldn't believe it was real.

Several teachers came and reprimanded Alice, grabbing her shoulders and leading her away.

He narrowed his eyes as he came down from realization, came down from the shock and whispered something to her as they went. A slow moving of his lips, a simple single sentence, with all mockery and resentment, cradling his broken face.

* * *

Alice was brought to the principal's office, where the teachers quickly explained what they saw.

They placed her at another room while she waited for her punishment, weeping at a desk face-down. She didn't care if her hair got messy and untidy and chaotic and cluttered with all the unruly blonde strands soaking up her salty tears. Her face felt sticky against the wooden table, hot and clammy as she tried to breathe.

At first, Alice couldn't deny that it didn't feel a little bit good, made her feel better and stronger and more independent and sure of herself. Like maybe, after this, she could do the same to Gina. She could slap Gretchen too, the center of all mishearing and gossips and God have mercy on her, that little ___Jezebel_.

But that was what the teachers saw. And now she was going to get lashed for it. Alice trembled at the thought and cried more.

The blond girl hiccupped, tensing as a sound reached her ears. She thought that the door opened and the teacher finally came in with the birch rod, and she would be lashed across her bare legs. And when she came home, it'd only get worse.

_Step, step._

Alice closed her eyes tightly, crying and chanting. ___I love school, I love school, I love school _and cried some more, sobbing and shaking when out of the blue, something tapped at the classroom window.

She didn't hear it, only contemplated about how miserable her life was now.

Another tap. Perhaps it was just an incessant tapping from the large oak tree or ___whatever_, that stood beside the school. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap.

Alice finally got up, ran to the window, and opened it, intending to slap the tree branch too because she'd just be a slap-happy girl now. Her eyes widened.

"Hey," Cat called afterward, all casual-like and things. Even having the ___gal _to wave at her.


	3. Look before you leap

Insomnia

-X-

_Chapter 3: Look before you leap_

* * *

Alice's eyes widened as he stared at her simply in return.

It was hard to keep track of the older cat-boy, since there were a lot of people walking on the street passing by him and ignoring her. He actually had the wit, surprisingly, to tie one of her kerchiefs to his head and wear a hat, hiding all the electrifyingly pink salmon strands of his hair.

If one escaped, she supposed that he would just say that he was an apprentice of a carpenter. Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything to hide his eyes, golden in the sun and attention-grabbing.

Alice thought about her unexpected situation, wanting to cry. She was sure that he would make her do something that would even get her into more trouble, perhaps even the peg.

And she knew she also looked terrible when she opened the windows, shocking passersby that dared glance upwards.

Her hair felt sticky against her cheeks, her neck hurt from craning so much, her eyes were red and puffy, and this felt like a parody of Rapunzel: the trying-hard-ugly-crying-princess would rather face and be lashed by Mother Gothel, rather than be in the arms of the devilish, fly-by-night prince-who-was-really-a-peasant-cat-person.

Alice huffed, sniffed, and rested her arms at the windowsill.

"What do you want?" her tone was set in different levels, sounding like an out of tune piano. "I told you not to follow me," she began, but then suddenly stopped because her breathe caught at her throat.

"Jump," Cat called, and for a second, it looked like he might've been grinning, but she was just looking at the wrong person.

She searched for his serious face, eyebrows pulled over yellow eyes.

"Why would I do that? It's stupid."

"Nothing's too stupid for you."

"You're one to talk."

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair—"

"Is this your way of cheering me up?"

"Of course not."

Alice made a motion to throw a classroom object at him, but she couldn't help the relieved feeling that made her relax, if by a little.

She was still angry at him, though.

"Go away, Cat." The girl snarled.

His feet stayed in place, but there were a lot of people who pushed and shoved him aside. When she thought he'd turn around and left, her eyes hardened, and Cat saw that, and he would use that against her.

"Why won't you jump?" he called once again.

"You won't catch me." Alice said with a tight voice.

"You say it like you know,"

"You won't." She insisted.

Cat gave her a frown, perhaps now his representation of a grin since he was too stubborn to actually do one.

"Try me,"

"I don't want to die yet." Alice rolled her eyes to him, her gaze casting downwards. She played with the idea of actually going through with it, but knew that it wasn't possible. Besides, her punishment was bad enough. I shouldn't have done that.

There was a noise at the door of the classroom that grabbed her sudden attention, a flash of panic and fear perfectly mixed together flitted across her face, making her shoulders tense and her jaw rigid. She held tightly to the windowsill.

Cat caught on, casting her a dark look. "You did something, didn't you?"

Alice turned and accidentally gave him such a terrorized look that he blinked, basking in her distress. She wished she hadn't done that, because then the girl suddenly burst into embarrassed tears.

"You're going to get me in trouble," she shook terribly, trying to hide her face. "You're going to get me to the peg."

"What's the peg?"

"Oh, it's horrible." Alice spoke through muffled voices, her head deflating. "And you'll get me into that. Cat, please, just go away. I don't want you here. You're making things worse."

"So jump." He returned simply. Such impulsive words looked wrong on such a serious face. Alice stared at him with cold, practical eyes hidden behind a glassy frame.

That's impossible. She wanted to say, but remained quiet. The girl heard a step towards the class's door, the turning of the knob shaking her with sudden fright.

In panic, she imagined the door creaking open and terror struck her like Romeo stabbed himself.

She took a risky glance at Cat, her appearance hastily breaking. His lips opened to make such a cool remark that it made her fingers clench the windowsill with a cold, iron grip.

___I'd rather take my chances with the peg._

"Would you?"

Then Alice was airborne, and then crash-landing. She jumped out the window on quick impulse, and because it seemed like he whispered it in her ear.

She flew at first, actually thinking that she could make it past Cat and fly away, but then the impact got nearer and nearer and her eyes widened, doubled their size and looked like plates.

She was too horrified to even scream, too petrified and traumatized, considering that this was just a second-floor building, so why was she so scared?

Alice's eyes searched wildly for Cat's figure, droplets of tears floating beside her as the wind slapped her face. ___He's not there, he's not there, he's not there_and OOOFF!

The scream ripped at her throat, Alice died inside and Cat got a hold of her, tumbling down at the force.

Her eyes stayed closed until she felt a dizzying of her head, movement, like vertigo, that was Cat struggling to stand up.

He set her down on the ground, and her legs gave way as soon as her feet touched the dirty London gravel. Alice would've dropped into the hard pavement unconsciously if not for the pair of arms that caught her just in time.

The girl stood stiffly, blubbered, then wrenched free of his hold, burning in tears.

She quickly turned away and tried to hide her face, not wanting him to see. Cat tried to touch her shoulder, but Alice shrugged it off, her voice already cracking.

Sickness and throw-up and backlash recoiled inside her stomach. The girl wept.

"You weren't there," she spat harshly, unable to control the frightened sobs that escaped her tear ducts.

Cat stared at her, his eyebrows furrowing. "What? I was-"

"You weren't there!" Alice fussed, almost stomping her foot. "You just weren't! You moved!"

"To catch you." He explained.

"Liar," The girl accused bitterly.

Cat's expression turned sour. "But I caught you, didn't I?" His voice rose in pitch, twisted and insincere.

"___Why_did you move?" Alice questioned.

"Because you were stupid enough to dive out of the class room—"

"You were the one who told me to jump!" she exploded.

"But you didn't have to believe me!" He snarled as well, forgetting himself. Alice flinched. His chest tightened, his long figure tipping over her like a tower, crashing, leaning.

Deceitful eyes flickered back at Alice. Yellow, gold, amber, sepia. Her head snapped down to look away, and he retreated back so fast that she felt the wind rush through her hair.

Everything seemed quiet for a moment. Both refused to say anything, and both paid no attention to the steps of other people walking by, just to each other's chest breathing.

In time, the girl suddenly made a sound that seemed like a huffing noise. Alice started breathing abnormally fast, inhaling deeply and exhaling it out in a quiet whine. Her breath shuddered, making her shoulders tremble.

The girl fought back the tears, suddenly pouring over her like a hot fluid for no reason at all. She just wanted to cry. Again, and once again, and once more, and repeatedly. And it just pissed her so much.

She hiccupped, and hated herself evermore as fresh new batches of tears stared to fall.

Alice made a sharp turn to her right and walked away as fast as she could, wiping the wet evidence away as fast as possible. She was just so surprised, and so upset. Why?

Cat paused, staring down at the dirty ground. "Look," he began, swallowing his irritation. He allowed her to elbow past him. "Why are you angry?" he asked, then tracked after her.

Why ___exactly_? Alice snarled. "Stop following me,"

"And where am I supposed to go?" he tried to speak with an even tone.

"I don't know!" Alice shouted, her face cool from drying tears. "Why don't you go home?"

"I don't have any," Cat answered bitterly, then tried on a sweet, mocking voice. "Why don't you let me live with you?"

Alice looked at him with hateful eyes, and he stopped walking after her.

She turned around without even sparing him a second glance and started walking faster; running away until she was a good distance far and people flitted in between them, blocking the view of her disappearing back.

He agreed to a gap of 14 feet before walking after her, suddenly feeling the chilly temperature of the London air. His breath exhaled in frosty wisps, like smoke, shoving his cold arms inside his pockets.

The front doors of her house opened noisily, the dark oak woods lashing back and hitting the pristine wallpaper-covered wall. It broke the deafening silence of her house, making her feel loud and obnoxious and lonely all at the same time.

She just wanted to get into her room as fast as possible. Her legs carried her up the long stairs and into her room, closing the door with a loud slam.

Alice fell against her bedroom door, gritting her teeth and looking down at her feet with unshed tears, threatening to fall.

She was so disgusted with herself. ___What, haven't you cried enough already? _She wanted to scream it at her sensitive feelings. Why couldn't she just cover her ears until everything was over and done with?

Because you are hopeless. You're too much of a brat to handle even a sliver of yourself.

Alice snarled at what her brain had conjured up, biting her lips frustratedly and shutting her eyes tight.

She tried to hold it back, but she felt angrier and angrier the harder she had to try. She was so despicable, and so embarrassing. She hated herself more because it was exactly true.

The girl couldn't handle it anymore. She breathed and broke out with angry sobs, collapsing on her knees. A sense of vulgar filled her being, couldn't believe that she had succumbed to this kind of thing again.

Alice loathed how the salty tears tasted in her mouth, like they were rubbing it on her face. ___You're crying, haha, you're crying!_

Why did she have to go through his stupid plan? Jump out the classroom window, like a lunatic. _You are the joke of the century._

Now look at what you've done. You created more trouble for yourself. Did you really think that after doing that, you could escape being beat down? Well, let's wait until your parents find out about this, with your black eye, shall we?

She dropped her head at her knees, crying harder.

Cat inhaled sharply as he opened the door, taking in the broken girl's image. His hair stood on end, his fingers tensing around the knob. Vacant eyes seemed to glisten amongst the darkness, slackened over by pink eyebrows.

It wasn't a surprise why Wonderland was crumbling. She was a living wreck.

Stupid girl. The door was unlocked.

Alice tightened, trying to feel a fake sense of security by holding herself more. She buried her face in her knees, gripping her arms so firmly that her knuckles turned white.

She had angered him, probably going too far. ___You hate me, don't you? You're angry, aren't you__? Don't worry. I feel the same way too._

Cat stared at her solemnly, expressionless. He lingered around at the entrance before approaching her silently, his body looming over hers and making her features seem grayer.

The golden glow of the afternoon made everything in the room darken, but reflected orange lights at the lamp, the side of the book case, the covering of the bed, the designs on the chair, and the right part of her arm that moved to wipe her face.

His finger twitched as he stared more at the girl, wanting to do something. But what could he do? He couldn't touch her. Her skin was like metallic acid to him, biting his skin whenever he touched her, as if her system was rejecting it.

So he simply stood at the weeping girl's side, looking at her with a dull face.

_I'm angry, I'm lonely, I'm sad, and I'm tired, and I'm just so hopeless._

She started sobbing again, trying to hold back the uncontrollable tears from flowing.

"Just go away!" Alice suddenly screamed, when seconds passed and he just stood there, doing nothing else.

_Don't look at me. Don't touch me. Don't even breathe the same air as me_. Just... go. The girl sniffled and pulled her knees closer to her chest. ___I don't need your pity._

She waited for him to leave, sitting rather tense and stiffly. Cat glanced at her one more time before making his way towards the door. Alice's hand immediately shot up and closed it with a hard thud, as if automatic.

This time, she locked it.

The girl looked back at the empty room now that she was the only one there. _A person's true character was reflected when no one else was watching_. The loneliness stung her eyes and she wept softly, curling tighter into a little ball.

Cat sighed for the first time. He turned around and leaned against the door, sitting with her back to back. "Can't you handle yourself better?"

"Leave me alone." Alice spoke through the other side, her voice breaking and muffled.

The door is not always open. Where is the key? Shrink, understand. Grow, accept. Hesitate, run away.


	4. I say my sorries with no one watching

Insomnia

-X-

Chapter 4: I say my sorries with no one watching

* * *

I wish I could turn back time. She sighed.

Why?

Because I wish I hadn't acted like that.

Why?

Because I cried so much over the little unnecessary things, so much even for me.

Why?

Because I just feel tired from it all. I want a break from crying.

So?

Alice couldn't help but stare eye-level with her knee-caps and press her lips together. She was embarrassed because her conscience supplied that she ought to apologize to the unblinking, pink-haired, yellow-eyed circus freak that lived in her room (for the meantime, anyway) and embarrassed yet again, because her conscience was purely and entirely right.

So? It persisted, wanting an answer. Alice sighed, closing her eyes.

I owe him an apology.

And?

I will not say it.

And?

I refuse.

And?

And it's his fault, I recall. She scowled.

But?

But. . . Alice hesitated, sighing again. I'll think about it, okay?

The truth was, she wasn't even sure if she felt like getting out of here, much less how to give that quirk a proper apology.

It was his fault that this whole thing had even started in the first place.

Wasn't he the one who pointed out where to go back when she was still 7 years old? Hence leading up to her intrusion—she called it just going, since the table wasn't really theirs to begin with—in the tea party, thus leading her again to the royal garden?

And wasn't it him who showed when they were playing croquet, causing quite a ruckus about cutting off heads and fading away, that after a ride in the clouds and a sad story, it finally involved her in the case of thievery and execution?

___That was what you get_, Alice thought bitterly, ___when you complied with bad directions__._

So it was all his fault, entirely. But she SHOULD apologize. It was partly her fault, anyways; she'd cried a lot and made trouble of things. Plus, it'd be the right thing to do, and ___this guilt_was overwhelming. And wasn't she on the road of self-discovery? Oh, she ___really _should to do it. Should, could, would, won't. What was the difference?

_You really ought to, really really really Alice, my dear. Sweet child. Innocent darling—_

He'd be indifferent.

_You'd feel much better._

But it'd be like you never even said it. Really.

Alice sighed wearily again, cupping her cheeks with two, cold hands. Of course she knew what the right thing to do was, and what she wanted to do instead. But that wasn't the real question here; the real question here was if she even felt like getting up and going on with life. Not because she didn't want to, but because she was so desperately tired, and her body was _so desperately tired_, and she couldn't even close her eyes to rest.

Didn't you ever feel like just sitting down for forever? And think that everything was all right, and you were fine, so long as you sat there? But once you did move, you knew that you also had to get up, and go through that door, and do things that you didn't want to do but felt like you should, and start living.

And sometimes living disappointed you, compared to just sitting there forever, with everything just the way it was.

That was pinpointed to exactly how she felt right now.

The sun had long set, and the sky was the darkest shade of black. It was late at night, and her room felt very cold without the warmth of the fireplace.

Alice wiped her tears with the back of her hand. They were already dry, but the action felt reassuring. Like she was getting a second chance, ___well here it is__._

She lifted herself off the floor, if a little dizzily (because everything just rushed in too fast), feeling all the sore muscles in her body.

Goosebumps raised in her skin as if those weren't enough. Alice cringed as her hand touched the doorknob, immediately prying it off like the metal had bit her skin.

The girl took a deep breath, keeping her wavering eyes on the knob.

This shouldn't be so hard. She chastised herself. Stop being such a baby, it's just a door!

She pushed a stray hair behind her ear, ___don't think about it, just do it__, _turned the knob, and quickly pulled the door towards her.

Cat's eyes flew open, his back suddenly crashing into Alice's bedroom with a hard thud, making her eyes widen and her feet jump, careful not to step on him.

Rare surprise flashed at his face, blinking up at her in wonder. The girl looked back at him too, surprised herself. ___Had he been sitting there the whole time?_

She suddenly felt like something needed to be said then, something to cut off the awkwardness. Her hands fumbled for a distraction, not knowing what to do with themselves. Alice didn't know either, shrinking back behind the door.

"I was sleeping," Cat cut her off when she finally opened her mouth. ___Or, you made me sleep there_. Was what she really heard.

The girl immediately closed her mouth back shut, tasting the dryness in her throat, feeling a little stupid. It's okay, she thought, she probably would've said something unintelligent anyway. It'd be best if she didn't say anything for a while.

But human instinct drove her on.

"Can you come with me downstairs?" Alice suddenly erupted, half of her wishing she hadn't.

Cat made a whining sound. "I'm too tired," he muttered to her, propping himself on his elbows.

Alice closed her eyes tightly, and then opened them back up again, nodding in understanding. "Oh, that's fine." She said a little too brightly, wanting to slap herself. No, it wasn't.

Her hand reached out just when he was about to step into her room, holding onto the back of his dress shirt, stopping him. Cat turned to look at her.

Alice swallowed and tried to smile uncomfortably. It failed. She was too much of a chicken to go downstairs by herself. Besides, she wanted to clear this whole mess up anyway, they could converse a little.

"Um," the girl stuttered, feeling the bright idea of communicating fading away inside her skull.

Cat tilted his head. It was like she was whispering to him, and he couldn't hear it. Alice made her voice louder.

"I, umm, I-I was thinking that I—we, could maybe go downstairs, a-and eat dinner."

He frowned once he took meaning to the stumbling words. "But I want to sleep."

Her grip tightened at the mention of slumber. "I… I can't last through the night if I don't get anything to eat," she said quietly, almost disheartened. Worry lines seeped into her forehead. "Aren't you hungry?" her voice secretly pleaded.

The boy also grew silent for awhile, staring at her. "A little," he admitted, letting her drag him down-stairs.

* * *

They crept down the flight of steps softly. Alice closed her eyes shut and winced, praying that it wouldn't seem like a trumpet blazed all around the house whenever she walked on a squeaky wood, which was often.

It sounded like that to her, coupled by a wailing baby and marching bands playing and stampeding elephants. It was really quiet, after all. One noise would echo everything. Cat rolled his eyes, having to follow behind the girl with his nimble toes, and having to stop every four or five seconds so they wouldn't bump into each other.

She groped the railing for another step.

"It would help if you let go of my shirt," he tried to say patiently.

"O-oh." Alice mumbled in embarrassment, retracting her hand very fast and tucking it beside her dress.

The maids were sleeping in a room at the bottom of the stairs, and they had to be careful not to make too much noise else they'd wake up.

It wasn't a very good idea to be found sneaking off down the staircase out of her room at night, with an older boy in tow. In fact, it was a very controversial one, and the maids liked to gossip a lot.

The house was dark and looked gray and orange from the staircase, alighted by the candle in Alice's hand. Shadows played by the walls. Alice placed the candle on the kitchen counter and looked for any leftovers to eat, hungrily wondering what her parents had for dinner.

There was a loaf of stale bread stowed away in the cupboard, and a kettle of cold tea sitting beside a pot hanging over a low fire, filled with yesterday's soup.

Cat yawned small and sat himself on a little chair that was situated in the middle of the kitchen, while Alice aimlessly wandered and grabbed the simmering pot by its handles and was careful not to burn her fingertips by touching the hot metal. But she got too carried away on being too cautious that the pot suddenly began to tip unto one side, half the contents of the soup beginning to spill out onto the floor.

Alice gasped, swallowing the wanted yelp to shriek off her lungs. She held the pot's handles more securely and tried not to drop it unto the kitchen tiles, or it would surely wake the maids up. Alice heaved the pot, now cold from the spill, and almost hugged it to her chest. She placed it on top of the counter and stared at the mess helplessly.

Alice took a deep breath and huffed it out into a miserable sigh. She rubbed her forehead and began to clean the spill, finishing in a half-decent attempt. Alice wiped her hands on a rag-towel and flumped at the vacant chair next to Cat, picking at the stale bread in front of her.

The boy looked at Alice through half-opened eyes, his cheek resting on his hand. "I thought you were hungry," he remarked slow, in an effort to make light, tedious conversation.

"I gave up." The girl sighed, mumbling incoherently.

"Why?"

"I spilled the soup,"

"I saw that," he nodded, muttering in the same way without a change of expression

Alice's eyes crinkled as she stared at the boy in front of her incredulously, a little irritated. ___So why didn't you stand up and help?_She wanted to bark, though just shook her head and tried to dismiss the thought, bringing the cup of cold tea to her lips and drowning herself.

It's okay. This is a part of your penance. You deserve it, anyway. Her mind supplied.

The girl remained quiet, choosing not to say anything any longer and continued to pick at the stale bread.

Cat stared at her dully, still at his beginning position. Then he stared at the tensing air in annoyance, seeming heavy and thick as it crept up to the back of his neck, feeling it under his skin. He frowned, accidentally, at her.

Alice scowled at him right back, her eyes lifting from her dinner and matching the annoyance in his eyes. "What're you staring at?"

"Hmm? Oh," he muttered, turning his full attention towards her, then yawned. "Nothing special."

The girl's eyes narrowed. "Do you have a problem with me?"

"Not ___you__,_" he said casually.

"Who, then?"

"The air."

"Pardon?"

He grumbled, as if that was self-explanatory enough.

"_What?_" Alice gave him a delirious stare.

"The atmosphere," Cat finally answered, now truthfully bothered with her.

She rolled her eyes at him. "That makes perfect sense."

"Hmm,"

"What now?" The girl glared.

"I said," Cat paused for a dramatic effect. "Can you cook?"

"But you didn't say that," Alice argued heatedly. "You just mumbled at me."

"I'll take that as a no,"

"You're so-!" Her face scrunched up before dwindling down in the face of truth. "Basically." She muttered back, a little cross. Alice began to pick at her bread again, tossing it into her mouth.

"I imagine what kind of wife you'll be if you can't even cook." Cat sighed, bowing his head depressingly. "And you're not at all good in cleaning,"

Alice raised a brow. "Can you cook?"

"No." He answered without shame.

"So why does it matter more if___I _can't cook?"

Cat hesitated. "Because I'm a man."

"Aha!" Alice snapped her fingers suddenly, scaring him a bit. "I knew you were going to say that. I find it very offensive that men think ___women _aren't as capable as them. Because you know, we are. And much, much more."

"Your parents must be horrified," he remarked lightly, eyeing her with bemusement.

The girl suddenly gasped at the mention of her parents, her body straightening for a quick second before slumping down on her seat. "Oh, my parents…" she groaned, a long, awful, high-pitched sound that grated the air.

Alice covered her face, more specifically the terrible dread that was her left eye. "How am I going to tell them about this hideous thing? No, no… I can't..." she sighed hopelessly. "Mother would be horrified and Father would be very upset with me. And the maids. . . I'll be the center of gossip in this house. Ugh." she dropped her head on the table, defeated.

"Just keep doing what you usually do to hide it," Cat muttered, looking down at her figure.

"I don't do anything to hide it." Alice sighed once again, "I just received this the other day before, remember?"

"Oh."

"My parents are away a lot. That's probably the only reason why they haven't found out yet." Her voice was muffled by the table. Alice shrugged, finding the next bit a little entertaining. "And I usually try to hide from the maids ever since I've gotten this," she gestured to her black eye awkwardly. "They've got such big mouths, you know?"

"I've heard,"

The girl sighed again. "I don't really care about what they'll say about me. . . it's my parents that I'm worried about. I just can't imagine how they're going to think about their daughter now. That I fought with someone, which is so unladylike, or something worse. But I didn't ___do _anything, I just…." Alice drifted off, too nervous to continue.

Cat shrugged, closing his eyes. "Just pretend you're sick,"

"Hmm... They wouldn't believe me if I told them the truth anyway. . . . and I really don't want to face them like this,"

"So don't."

"I suppose you're right." Alice mumbled, pressing her lips together.

The girl stayed silent for a while, letting the time pass by. Reoccurring thoughts swam inside her head.

Alice stared down, twirling her thumbs together in a sort of edgy fashion and fiddled with the hem of her skirt. She looked up at Cat, whose breath seemed to fall in and out evenly.

She hesitated. "About yesterday…" The girl began shyly, dragging the last word a little too long. She looked up again to check on him and almost jumped out of her skin.

"Yes?" His eyes had opened sleepily, already staring back at her.

"O-oh…" She swallowed thickly.

Alice fidgeted in her seat, unable to say anything and immediately snapped her gaze back down, staring at her fingers with forced interest. "I-I just wanted to say that… that I know I must've been unbearable… a-and bratty this afternoon, but I can explain that. I was… I've been feeling sort of down lately, and I've been crying a lot, more than a lot, actually…"

She sighed in embarrassment, telling herself to just calm down and breathe and let everything spill out, "And I'm just so sick of it. I'm sick of being depressed. I'm sick of feeling hopeless and miserable all the time and pretending that everything's alright when it's not—"

Cat yawned.

"—and forcing myself to be happy, then just failing anyway. I'm sick of trying so hard and not trying sometimes. I'm sick of crying so much and running away from my problems—"

He started to nod off.

"—and I've really been trying to get better at it, but—" Alice squirmed, feeling timid and uncomfortable and self-conscious all at the same time. Her hands were sweaty and clammy as she laced her fingers together and tried her hardest not to cry once more, clenching her jaw and biting her tongue.

Her voice started to crack, despite her efforts. "But I hate it when people think that I'm unhappy all the time, because I'm not. I just have my bad days. And I hate it when they think that I'm not doing anything to try and get a better grasp of my emotions, because I am. I'm doing the best I can, and sometimes I know that I don't, but I can't help it if I… if I'm being too selfish, or… or angry, and if it takes some crying for me to get better." Alice sobbed, but no tears came.

She shivered slightly. "And I know that I've been really vain these past couple of days, so… I—" Alice stopped short, noticing that Cat was already asleep. The girl sighed.

"I'm sorry," She finally whispered instead, and stayed quiet for the remainder of the night, ruminating over her unheard apology as she ate the rest of the stale bread and finished her cup of cold tea.

She did not notice the hours pass until the sun appeared to rise, traces of dawn filtering through the small, dainty kitchen window and setting the room aglow.

As she admired the beauty of the sun rise, seemingly mesmerized by the light rays of the sun highlighting the dust in the air, her elbow had slipped off the counter and accidentally knocked the teacup unto the floor as well.

The shatter gave Alice a small heart attack, beating wildly, and startled Cat enough to wake up, his head snapping up drowsily.

Alice stared at him in alarm, distracted. "The cup—" She started to explain too fast, but immediately stopped when low voices had started to emerge from the maid's room.

"Come on," The girl hissed when he merely stared at her. She took his hand and rushed out of the kitchen, the broken glass of the teacup left as evidence of a ghostly midnight raid.

They ran past the maids' room and up the stairs, the girl not caring anymore about how much noise her feet made so long as she wasn't caught arm in arm with a strange boy that had pink hair and really weird eyes.

* * *

She slammed the door in her room in triumph, panting fast and relieved beyond words. Alice brushed past Cat, so high off the excitement that she momentarily forgot his presence and that her hand had been intertwined with his. She climbed into her bed, not worried for only a second that she wouldn't be able to sleep.

The girl lifted the covers off her bed and burrowed inside the warmth of it, feeling the softness of her pillow. Anything was better than sitting in a little chair all night long and eating cold food while your back cramped up and your legs started to sting from staying dormant for hours straight.

At least she was already here, a little relaxed and comfortable.

Maybe later, she'd hate being in bed with only the cold, dull ceiling to look at. But not now, after all that's happened yesterday. An overemotional overwrought, she would appreciate the cold, dull ceiling for what it's worth, or as best as she could.

Alice stared at the ceiling, in the midst of appreciating it, then merely sighed and rolled over. It was no use. She would hate that ceiling as long as she couldn't sleep.

The insomnia started to settle in, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to think about the weariness that would come later. She suddenly noticed an added weight on her bed.

The girl turned over, looking at Cat. "What… are you doing here?" She asked slowly, before immediately hissing as she realized the gravity of the situation. "Get up!"

"Nngh. Too tired," The boy answered, lying belly down on top of her covers. The girl stared at him in frustration and pushed at his shoulders.

"But you can't just lie there—! Are you even listening—" Alice's brow furrowed as his eyes stubbornly refused to open. "Oh never mind," She mumbled to herself and sighed again, watching his expression as he gradually drifted off to sleep.

She wondered if he was really falling asleep or if he was merely feigning it. The girl closed her own eyes for a moment before opening them back again, a million things passing over inside her head.

"Cat," She suddenly whispered in the darkness. _I want to say thank you. You're a jerk. You have no manners. I hate people like you. But thank you for being here._

Alice felt nauseous, not really knowing why she had suddenly wanted to express her gratitude. "Cat, I-"

He had suddenly interrupted her, however, kissing his teeth as if he appeared slightly annoyed. "You needn't say my name so much. I can believe it without that."

* * *

An hour passed.

Alice sat up out of bed by 6:30. She just wasn't comfortable when a boy was there, lying right beside her.

The girl looked at him, frowning. "Hey, Cat." She murmured, kind of poking his elbow.

He doesn't open his eyes.

Alice stayed sitting up on the bed for a little while longer, choosing not to bother him anymore. She wondered how in the world she'd plan on missing school today. The girl sighed and swung her legs out of bed, touching the cold floor with her bare feet.

After a long moment of quiet reflections, a sudden knock came at her door.

Alice jumped, her heart pounding inside her ears. She rubbed her arms in paranoia, "Who is it?"

"Breakfast is ready," A maid called through the door.

Her stomach instantly grumbled. She told it to hush. "O-oh," the girl stammered intelligently, realizing that she mustn't have answered for a while.

There was another knock. "Miss, are you all right?"

"Umm. Just fine," Alice forced a grin as if the woman could see it. She kept staring back at Cat, an uneasy expression forming on her features. _  
_

"I'm not eating breakfast," She called towards the woman then, though her stomach grumbled in reply. Her arms tightened around it.

"Oh, why not?" The maid just had to ask. The girl was getting a little annoyed.

"I'm... I'm watching my figure. I guess." Alice wanted to thump her forehead as the words left her mouth.

The maid laughed quietly, finally retreating. "Silly girl," Alice barely heard the muttered words, wedged between amusement. It made her a little upset.

By eight o'clock, she prepared to leave. Alice grabbed her hat off the dresser table and placed it on, trying to cover her face as much as possible. She jumped when a maid came up beside her.

"No, that's quite alright," She immediately blurted out, trying her best to dismiss the young woman without seeming rude.

The woman smiled, "Nonsense, Miss. I must accompany you out the door."

"No, no. Really, it's fine." The girl stalled, racing down the stairs in a hurry. The maid followed behind her.

Alice looked back at the approaching woman and sighed. ___  
_

"You're acting a little strange today, Miss Alice. Is something the matter?" The woman remarked as they walked up the front door together. The girl fidgeted, seeming jittery in her haste to get out.

The woman tried to see under her face, though Alice ducked her head more and bit her lip. Maybe the older woman was right; she was acting a little too tense.

The girl loosened her shoulders, and tried to relax a little._ Breathe_, Alice, she reminded herself, and put on a smile. It fitted for once.

"Everything's fine," The girl assured with a confident tone. "N-nothing's the matter." She cursed herself for stuttering. But nonetheless, the woman asked no more questions to report to her mother and opened the door.

Alice stepped outside and instantly sighed in relief. She knew that they were probably spying on her through the windows, so she trudged on, pretending to whistle and swing her bag nonchalantly.

People stared at her. The girl cleared her throat and stopped, walking quietly. She turned her head halfway down the street, looking back to see if they were still spying on her. The curtain on one of the front windows of the house fell back, giving her a chance to run along hurriedly to her right. For some reason, she felt the need to hide in a corner.

Running would've probably made her suspicious. And some people would've also probably asked if she should've been at school at this time of hour. Although it wasn't very rare for children to run amuck along the streets, her dress said differently, displaying that she was of upper-middle class wealth. It was her first time to skip a school day, and it probably appeared quite clearly that she was in over her heard, not at all knowing what to do with all her spare time.

Alice stood up and decided that she should hide more properly to gather her thoughts. She edged towards a bright alleyway between two buildings, a little dirty but likely cleaner than most. However, her eyes met with a group of children, sitting together in a circle and appearing to be having breakfast; she couldn't help but feel like an intruder walking upon a family.

Alice lowered her head, though they raised theirs. Instinctively, her grip tightened around her bag.___  
_

"Who are you?" A boy, who looked a little around six or eight years old, asked, breaking the awkward silence between Alice and the group of children. His eyes were wide.

Alice tensed and looked away, pretending she didn't hear him.

"Hey, lady!" The boy once again chirped when Alice feigned hearing.

Alice didn't answer, but she peeked at them, surprised that someone that young would live in the streets. Her naivety was an unwelcome asset to the reality that transpired before her.

"Stop pestering her, Robert." An older boy- one who was probably her age- said, smacking the younger one lightly on the head.

"But why_?_" The younger child named Robert whined. He patted the area where he was hit, though his eyes suddenly widened even more, his voice lowering into a whisper. "Is... Is she deaf?"

The blonde girl felt critical eyes on her. "I wouldn't be surprised if she is." The remark was loud and cynical, obviously directed at her social status.

"She thinks she's too good for us," A feminine voice added, full of the same disdainful tone that the other voice possessed.

"Hey, lady, do you have anything to eat?" Robert then practically screamed, despite the older children's flippant comments.

"Shut up!" The older boy beside him then yelled in something akin to embarrassment; he proceeded to smack the little boy harder.

"Ow! But you said she was deaf," The young boy explained. "If I scream loud enough, she'd probably hear me. HEY LADY—!"

"Cut it out," The older boy muttered, standing up. "She's not gonna give you anything. Just… come on," He kicked dirt into the fire that they were huddled around and walked away. The rest of the children followed him, though Robert looked back at Alice. She meekly met his wide, too innocent eyes.

"Hey lady, do you have anything to eat?" Robert repeated, now whispering.

Alice stared up at the little boy and nodded. "H-here," She opened her bag and gave the boy a handkerchief full of biscuits, which was supposed to be her snack later, as she didn't get to eat breakfast. Though she felt a deep bitterness that all she could give him were some biscuits, despite what her dress entailed.

However, the boy blinked in astonishment, staring at his hand as if he was holding treasure. "Thanks..." He said shyly, before turning around to run up to his friends. "WAIT UP! LOOK WHAT I HAVE!" He shouted at them, thin legs running faster and faster.

Briefly shocked at his response, and quite moved, Alice sighed. "You're welcome," She said quietly to herself, the corners of her lips turning into a small smile. Though she then proceeded to look about her surroundings now that the group of ragtag children had gone, not quite sure what she should do next. The girl lingered alone in the alley, thinking.

* * *

Comfortably situated from his position on Alice's bedroom floor, Cat held a book over his head, eyes glazing over as he flipped page after page. It was predictable, and he could already guess the plot of the story. He let it flump over the carpet, lifeless and inanimate. Like the book, he was deathly bored out of his mind, and conceded that boredom should be considered a sickness worse than malaria.

It wasn't boring when she was present. He found it a tad bit upsetting that his afternoons orbited around the tendencies of a naive, fifteen-year old girl. Despite his physical age only being a year older than her actual age, their interests were further apart than the light-years between the sun and the Earth. Speaking of the girl, it was strange that she wasn't back yet. Cat allowed himself to look up, briefly staring out the window.

_She couldn't have..._

"Stupid girl." Cat huffed, before forcing himself to get up on his feet, much to the complaints of his rather comfortable and lazy disposition.

* * *

Just a moment passed and the blonde girl already felt tired, preoccupying herself by drawing faces upon the dirt and occasionally talking to them.

A shadow fell on her then, rudely stepping over the faces that she drew.

"Hey!" Alice began to frown, looking up. Her eyebrows suddenly crinkled. "How did you get here?"

"You're not that far from your house." Cat answered flatly.

"Oh," Alice said, feeling more than a little dumb. "W-well, you took too long. I thought you might have forgotten about the plan." She muttered instead, and stared off to where Robert and his friends last escaped.

"Plan?" Cat frowned down at her. "I wasn't told about a plan."

She looked at him through the corners of her eyes, mimicking his frown. "It was implied. But you were asleep."

"You should really stop talking to me when I'm asleep." Cat said, before pausing. "Did you know that there are people who have probably defecated here?"

"Ugh, Cat!" Alice blanched, immediately getting up from her position and vigorously wiping her fingers on her dress.

"Let's get you home. And sanitized."

* * *

A/N: Slightly edited.


	5. A spoon full of sugar

Insomnia

**Click back to the last chapter if you think you're lost. o.o**

* * *

-X-

Alice held a wet towel to her face.

Droplets of water had littered over the bathroom counter, wetting the tops of her knuckles and the stomach area of her dress. She kept her gaze downwards, staring at the metal basin before closing her eyes to keep count of the seconds.

131... 132... 133...

She pressed the wet towel harder unto her bruised eye, waiting, waiting, and waiting until she felt a tingling sensation prickle her skin, one of which hopefully signified it was working. She finally pulled away when she felt that the other half of her face had started to become numb from the cold, though she still kept her eyes closed, counting the remaining seconds to herself.

177... 178... 179... _180...!_

Her eyes snapped open at exactly three minutes, head twisting sharply to stare at the mirror.

A wave of helplessness spread over her.

Her black eye still looked as worst as before.

But, she now realized that a light bluish spot had started to form underneath her black eye. Alice groaned. Great. Just _great._ How was that even possible, and _when_ did it even start to happen? Wasn't it supposed to go away?

She had overheard the maids saying it one day, that this method was an instantaneous remedy for black eyes... so _why was it still there? _Alice squeezed the wet cloth tightly in her hands, breathing sharply. It was the fifth time that she had done this repeatedly over the days, one after another, and still, nothing had worked.

A sigh formed at her lips, making a sound that crossed between worry and frustration as her head slumped over the basin. Shoulders hunched, she held on to the counter's edges, fingers clenching around the small gap.

She hated it so much. _Why_ wasn't it going away? She knew that of course, only a stupid fool would really believe that a black eye would go away in the expanse of some minutes, but it was because of _this_ that she had to skip bloody school for almost a week now, and hide her face away from everybody.

She felt so hideous, so _ugly_, felt as if her whole face was deranged and that everybody was talking about it every time she turned away... she was paranoid and a teenage girl, and having a black eye instead of some simple blemish like what other girls had was driving her insane. Out of everything, she just wanted it to go away.

And when it didn't, she just wanted to cry.

She hated being like this so much.

Alice glanced at the mirror once more, covering her left eye just to see what her face looked liked again when it was normal. She gave a wistful sigh, thinking _What happened? _and then, miserably _Oh... right._

She turned away from her reflection, letting her eyes drift until she caught one of the upper cabinets above her. Tentatively, Alice reached up and opened one of them, peeking through and hoping that the little jar that her nanny used to give to her when she was hurt was still there. Feeling her fingers clasp around something round, Alice brought it out unto the light.

It wasn't anything special, or perhaps it was in a way, since it _had_ solved most of her physical sufferings in a short amount of time. The jar contained salve, and she vaguely remembered it being used mostly for cuts, though she figured it was better than nothing.

Alice looked at the faded print embellished on the jar, holding it near the lamp in careful consideration, thinking, before clenching it with a little bit of hope, finally retreating out of the bathroom.

The trek to her bedroom was dark yet somehow peaceful, the furniture resting silently amongst themselves, their shadows splayed by the soft glowing moon like a gentle lamp casting comfort.

To her, the night seemed calm, or maybe too calm in a way that it was dull and lifeless, or foreboding danger. It was difficult to tell, especially with the week she just had. It was difficult to tell if the atmosphere around the room was trying to soothe her, or scare her. For all she knew, it might have been plotting against her.

Alice shook her head suddenly, scoffing at her silly assumptions. Perhaps more likely, it was just her head toying with her, trying to frighten her because there was nothing better to do.

She turned around a corner, but then immediately screamed when something had grabbed her shoulder and whirled her around, abruptly cupping her mouth before her voice rose to the octave of which the whole world could hear. Quivering beneath its touch, she felt it bend to her height, whispering quiet words in her ear. "Did you eat yet?"

For a half a second, Alice considered if the devil was mentally deranged enough to sneak up on people and ask them if they ate yet, or wore such an irritatingly empty look that brewed up so much annoyance in her.

Blinking rapidly, she made out eerie glowing eyes... and, and _pink hair._

It was Cat.

Alice immediately wrestled out of his grip, and then proceeded to smack him on the arm with righteous force.

"Ow." He grunted monotonously, which only added to her annoyance.

Alice scowled. "Why would you even do that?" She hissed, heart still thundering violently from the fright. "It's not even funny, _or_amusing."

Cat gave her a simple look. "You didn't answer my question, henceforth, I won't answer yours."

"I already ate." She lied, eyes narrowing in a glare. He frowned.

"Why didn't you bring me any?"

"Because—!" Alice snapped, and then paused, forcing herself to calm down. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening her eyes again. "I don't know what you like to eat. And besides, you usually like to lurk around my house, don't you?"

Cat shrugged one shoulder. "Hmm. Is that so?" He said, though stopped when he caught sight of something round-shaped in her hands. "What're you holding there?" He asked, reaching for it, though she abruptly hid it behind her back upon instinct. Alice cursed at herself, looking up to meet his now curious gaze.

"It's nothing." She cleared her throat, and held up her chin to say that there was no room for any more arguments. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going upstairs to study. And also, stop trying to deliberately frighten me."

Cat tilted his head, yellow eyes glowing in the dark. "Why?"

* * *

Upon entering her room, Alice immediately closed the door with a soft click. She pulled her hair out of her eyes, setting the small jar of salve on her desk. She walked over to the fireplace, sitting down and warming her hands a bit before looking over at the jar of salve.

She stared at it for quite some time, indulging herself upon whether or not she was really going to put a fairly aged, unknown substance on her face for the risk of risking before turning her head towards the door, making sure that she was alone. Apparently, that was a yes.

Alice stood up and took the small jar off her desk, bringing it with her as she sat back down in front of the fire, smoothing the crinkles around her dress as she did so.

She opened the container with a gentle twist, staring at the contents with great hesitation.

It was mostly green, but with little globs of clear indistinguishable pulps stuck inside of it. She wasn't quite sure whether the pulps signified if the medicine had already gone bad, or if it was just a part of the healing properties in the salve.

The girl still dipped her finger into it, however, and closed her eyes, shuddering at the sliminess of the salve as she spread it unto her left eye. She put another layer of glob for good measure, though instantly let out a sharp cry the second she opened her eyes.

The stupid thing had gotten inside of them! Hissing, Alice immediately took the top layer of her dress and wiped it off, tears rolling off the corner of her left eye from the irritation it caused. She fanned her hand at it, trying to alleviate the stinging though to little avail. She then squeezed her eyes tightly, keeping it closed until the pain receded.

Alice repeated this process until she lost count, despite already knowing what would occur in the next moment. She just assumed—or hoped, really, that maybe the salve just needed some time to work, and that the next try would be her successful one, or that maybe, the more times she used it meant the more help it would give in reducing her black eye, even by a little bit, though it only managed to make her eye red.

Well, what did she expect? It _was_ a salve used mostly for cuts, and here she was, a silly, stupid girl, using it for bruises. She would be stuck with this black eye forever, and _God_, she just... she just wanted to drop her head down on the carpet and wallow in her bad luck.

Alice gave up with a sigh and rubbed her forehead tiredly, certain that her left eye not only looked monstrous now, but also red and watery and- _and_ it felt horrible, so it must look horrible too.

She heard her door click open half an hour later, when the salve had long past been forgotten in her mind and rejected, left alone on the other side of the room due to her hurling it there earlier from feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction.

Right now, she just didn't really care anymore, or cared too much to the point of indifference. Alice hugged her knees, watching the fire slowly eat away at the wood in a sort of entranced, sluggish daze.

She knew at first hand that it was only Cat who came in, signified by the lack of noise his footsteps made and because everyone else in her house were decent, and decent people knocked. There was no need to explain why she was up so late.

"Here." He muttered suddenly, making her turn her attention towards him, eyebrows slightly raised.

He handed her a piece of steak. A frown made its way to her lips as she took it carefully, cold and uncooked in her hands. Alice eyed him with suspicion.

"For your eye." Cat deadpanned, as if it wasn't glaringly obvious enough.

The girl bit her tongue, restraining herself from making any sort of snappy comebacks because— well, because she was already tired, and picking a fight with him would only drain her more. Instead, she did as she was told, admittedly grumbling a bit, but nonetheless pressed the meat onto her bruised eye. It felt cool, and... strangely soothing on her face.

Cat plopped on her bed, nudging a plate of leftover food towards her and poking her arm.

"How's the studying going?" He asked.

* * *

One drawback he had learned long ago about sleeping on windowsills was that most windowsills were connected to windows.

This was obvious, but also besides the point. The point was, since they were connected to windows, it allowed the sunlight to pass through the glass every morning and onto the tops of his eyelids, laying there, as if it were waiting for the perfect chance to stun and attack him the moment he opened his eyes.

Though it felt very good to sleep underneath the sun on afternoons, it was very annoying in the morning. She should really make a habit of drawing the curtains closed. Or maybe, _he_ should, since he _was _the one sleeping there.

But it couldn't be helped, for it was too comfortable to sleep on the windowsill for his own good, and he was always too lazy to bother with trivial routines like drawing curtains closed.

Cat cracked his eyes open, grudgingly waking up after hearing unwanted ruckus pacing about in the room. He was greeted face to face by Alice.

He stared at her, eyelids half-lidded and heavy, before closing his eyes once more and trying to resume sleep. Alice reached over and shook him awake. He groaned, turning over to his side.

"About the plan," She started, pulling at his shoulders so that he faced her. Cat looked at the girl, slightly upset, and she bit her lip. "... something occurred to me."

"_What_ plan are you talking about?" He grumbled, leaning against the window pane in a failed attempt to sit up. "You have no plan."

"Well, I just had an idea, while I was staring at the fire." Alice confessed timidly, looking down at her feet. She finally sat down on the floor, which felt cold under her toes, since bending down to speak with him was too much of a hassle. "And I was thinking, I was thinking that it'd be nice if I was able to do it."

"So do it." He looked at her blankly.

Alice stared at Cat with some difficulty, or incompetence. She groaned loudly a second later, fumbling with her hands before burying her face into them. "I really should. I should. I want to."

He regarded her with a sarcastic expression. "You should try relaxing, while you're at it. And having fun."

The girl glared at him darkly, pulling her face away from her fingers. She opened her mouth, ready to say a cunning retort when a knock suddenly came at the door, garnering both of their attentions.

"Breakfast is ready. Your parents are already downstairs, Alice dear." The maid called.

Cat dropped his head back on the makeshift pillow, slinging an arm over his eyes. "Bring me something this time, would you?"

* * *

Usually, she would try and skip eating in fear of her parents finding out about her eye. But over the days, she had begun to realize that they might grow suspicious of her acts, and force her to come down. So the girl had begun to consistently switch from skipping under the guise that she was dieting, or come down and eat with prepared excuses.

At breakfast today, she had faced her parents with some hair sweeping over her bruised eye, secured by a pin.

Her mother had asked her why the sudden change of hairstyle, and then immediately looked interested when she explained that she was trying something new with her hair. Her father had just shook his head, saying she looked fine the way she was until her mother had shushed him, and encouraged her to try it out.

Her stomach dropped a bit at the response. Alice unconsciously made a thin line with her lips.

If she was ever honest with her self, she would think how she felt a little disappointed in her mother for consistently buying her lies with little to no regard or remembrance of her daughter's old personality, and how she usually hated things like changing her hair and so on. It was like she preferred this new Alice, who liked to diet and wanted to change her image.

She was more disappointed in her own self, however, for feeding her mother the lies in the first place and making her think this way. Making her have expectations that were built on false pretenses, and was only going to be crushed in the end anyway.

But then, Alice wasn't ever honest with her self. She considered her self to be a little trickster, and if she ever wanted to survive through her self's tricks, she needed to be oblivious. Though every now and then, her self would win, and she would be aware of her feelings— like being doused with cold water or like she'd just been run over by a carriage.

Suddenly losing her appetite, she excused herself, taking some bread off the kitchen counter and hiding it in the layers of her dress. Alice walked up the stairs as gracefully as she could without looking suspiciously like an older boy was living in her room, and that she was feeding him.

Said boy was currently deep asleep on her windowsill, eyes hidden by a slung arm.

The girl stared at him, before suddenly taking a huge bite out of the bread that she brought and forcibly swallowing. She repeated this action, gulping down the chunks of bread along with the buried anger and disappointment that her mother had made her feel, stopping only when she felt it settle down in the pits of her stomach, half-digested.

She didn't know why she always had to take it out on him, but despite that, she felt slightly better inside, knowing that he wouldn't care anyway. He never did about anything, unless it concerned Wonderland. Well, that was how she saw things.

At least, when the maid came to escort her out once again, she succeeded in asking her to be left alone entirely, as she had practiced over and over in front of the mirror and during breakfast.

Though, when she left the vicinity of her house five minutes later, Alice had once again felt uncertain and doubtful. She didn't know what to do, or where she was even going. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, keeping her gaze down at the asphalt she walked on and looking up every now and then to observe her surroundings.

Many times, she bumped into people, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment as she quickly muttered apologies. They only shook her off, some glaring down at a stupid girl like her walking the streets alone.

She prepared herself if they should ever ask her where her escort was. She would say, "He's catching up," or "I'm supposed to be meeting him." It sounded very believable, she thought, though luckily, they kept their mouths shut and let her be. Maybe it was one of the problems here in London. They didn't care much.

Alice passed a large, rotting building that had a chimney spouting out excessive amounts of gray smoke unto the early blue sky. It was surrounded by a wide, black gate that had its paint chipping off. Various people leaned against it, standing or sitting, some even sleeping, all huddled together and looking cold.

Noticing a young girl that belonged to the group of street children she had encountered some days ago, Alice paused, hesitating. What was she doing there, especially by herself? Wasn't she part of Robert's group...? Or had they left her...? Alice bit her lip, pitying the poor girl but thought that it would be better if she just walked past by.

As she did so, however, her conscience suddenly came to life and nagged at her to at least pay the girl a little bit of attention; though, the socialite in her told her to wave it off, saying that it would only stain her image.

_She is ratty and looks like she has just been drenched in garbage. It would be a disgrace if you talked to her kind in public._

Alice blinked. _But I talked to them in private._

"That... that would make me even more of a hypocrite..." She said quietly, and then suddenly despised herself for it.

Human-nature grabbing her and making her turn around, Alice fumbled inside her bag as she stepped towards the girl. The girl looked up at Alice when she approached her, and Alice shook her fist to indicate that she was only going to give her something.

The girl stretched out her arm, small fingers opening with curiosity as Alice opened her own. A few pennies fell into the little girl's open palm. Alice retracted back her hand and bit her lip, trying to ignore the sudden attention that she had garnered aside from the little girl's.

She opened her mouth, trying to say something to cut off the stunned and rather awkward silence that followed after her benevolence. Nothing came out of her lips, though, nor could she think of anything humorous or kind to say to break down the tension, so Alice just shut her mouth again, feeling more than a little stupid.

Suddenly, the little girl had whispered her a quiet thanks, making her blink in surprise. She nodded at this, flustered, and focused on picking off invisible lints from her dress. Noticing that she was just dragging on the atmosphere to be very, very awkward, Alice decided to go along her way, or wherever it was. There wasn't exactly a destination.

But she felt the weight of the morning's heaviness being lifted from her shoulders, making her feel more at ease and less melancholic now.

Walking away, Alice didn't notice a man in rugged clothes standing up against the black gate, following her.

* * *

The moment Cat woke up, his eyes landed on a half-eaten bread sitting at the desk. Well, not quite, really, since technically, the first thing one saw when lying down on your back was the ceiling, and he was doing just that.

He yawned first and propped himself up on his elbows, letting his eyes gaze around the room, scanning, scanning (for what? We're not quite sure here) before it landed on the half-eaten bread.

And when he saw it, he grimaced. Standing up on his feet and approaching the desk, he picked it up, before immediately dropping it when he sensed the girl's spit all over the bread.

Cat scowled, making a face. _What a brat_. He thought, as he wondered how hard it was to do a little request like bringing someone up some food without eating it. Hell, he did it yesterday. And she didn't even finish the damned thing.

He sighed, getting over it rather quickly, and pulled his arms over his head, stretching until he heard a sudden pop at his back. He paused, puzzling if he should find that worrying or not. That's what he probably got, for sleeping on a bloody windowsill all the time.

Cat headed out the door, turning the knob as he carefully made sure not to let it slam close behind him. He descended down the stairs with nimble steps, looking over the railings to check if anybody was there. Once it was clear that no one was, he jumped the last few steps and walked over to the kitchen.

Examining the cupboards for any food, all he found was the usual dry bread and butter. He sat down on one of the counter-tops, scraping the butter on the bread as he let his eyes gaze around the room.

Normally, this would be around the time that one of the maids would walk into the kitchen to start preparing for afternoon tea. He had noticed the pattern early on during his escapades to feed his hunger, as he frequently woke up around this time. It would be like a game of cat and mouse— or, no, probably a better term would be that he was bullshitting them.

And, true enough, five seconds later, he heard footsteps coming as the back door to the kitchen swung open, in walking one of the more younger servants, probably more or less his physical age, with a tray of baked desserts.

She immediately paused upon seeing him sitting on the counter-top, eyes wide and hands ready to drop what she was carrying. Cat merely looked up at her, taking a bite out of the bread, and instantly, as if the action was some kind of force that snapped her from her daze, the young maid ran back, door slamming loudly behind her.

"There's a boy— eating—!" She gasped between short, panicked breaths, pulling in an older maid after her. Though when they reached the kitchen, he vanished. "I—I swear... he was just—"

Behind the counter, Cat finished his breakfast, waiting for the two maids to go back before standing up fully and walking out of the kitchen. He halted on his way up the stairs though, a slight frown etching unto his features.

Usually, this was around the time when Alice would be heading back too, to be in time for afternoon tea. The maids were already almost finished preparing it, but he found that she was nowhere in sight yet as he looked through the windows, or even somewhere remotely close to the vicinity of her house.

He sighed, suddenly, as he let the curtain fall back against the windows, taking a glance at the double front doors. At times like these, he usually liked to read a book or go back to sleep, instead of going out onto the open streets of London.

Cat didn't really like to go out there so frequently, or at least, around the slum parts.

He wasn't sure if it was because of his high sense of smell or because he just wasn't used to the city yet, and was what you may call a newcomer, but the air from the streets had a burning smell to it, no doubt from the numerous of factories and working houses, but it made him feel unpleasant.

Maybe she was doing this on purpose. Maybe she had somehow gotten it in her head that it was okay to wander around the streets, sulking, and wait and wait and wait _and wait_ until he came out and fetched her.

A few weeks ago, he would've merely ignored her nonexistent pleas whilst he lied down on the floor, eyes closed, comfortable. But now, thoughts of her tripping over herself and falling into some ungodly lake and drowning, resulting in Wonderland being thrown out of whack, would swirl around in his head, eventually forcing him to get up.

This is how, typically, human behavior first starts to interfere with your original sense of self.

It frightened him a little.

* * *

At first, Alice just thought that she was being delusional, paranoid— that it was just what was left of her overactive imagination running again, and so merely shook the uneasy feeling off.

Now, at the remembrance of the thought, she rolled her eyes. Well, while it was nice that her head could amuse itself, she actually had some real problems here. Like, she didn't know what else she was supposed to do, where else she was supposed to go, and started to feel stupid for walking on for hours on end.

She had stopped at several stores during her walk, of course, either to wait for the sudden light drizzle to stop, courtesy of the weather in London's refusal to be predictable, or rest for a bit, at the same time admiring whatever trinkets the store held.

Once, she considered buying penny lick ice—cream when she passed by a street vendor selling it, though reconsidered when she saw how various customers of age and class would just lick the ice-cream off of the glass before handing it back to the vendor to re-use.

And the rest of the day came and went like that, with her discovering strange stores that were entirely dedicated to one thing; like cheese, lamps, or bow-ties, much to her amusement. Though as the day passed, she found herself coming to a dead end at the shopping street, and she was suddenly unsure of what to do. The girl was pretty sure that she had explored all, if not most, of the shops already.

Alice looked up at the sky, now a dull, somewhat bleak, gray color, but with enough sunlight still peeking through. The street lamps still hadn't turned on yet, so she figured that there was still enough time for a visit in the park to highlight her tour of London's streets.

She was sure that there wouldn't be so many people there now, or at least, the types of people who her parents would typically know, having in an encounter with her. They were usually at the park in high-noon, and would leave just before the sun started to set.

Besides, the girl sighed, she had already unwittingly spent all of her money during her visits in the shops, no doubt only getting swindled by them. But at the time, it seemed to make sense...

She had bought a scarf by her own will, though they also managed to get her to buy a handkerchief and a trinket that was undoubtedly fake. After going to the park, she'd make no more detours and go straight home. It was almost time for tea, anyway.

When she arrived at her wanted destination, she was relieved to find out that she had been right. There were only a few individuals left in the park, mostly lower-middle class to working class people, judging by their appearance, either taking a shortcut home by going through the park or just ambling around, sleeping on the benches.

It was then that Alice realized that this was one of the parks nearest the squalor, and mentally berated herself for always winding up in these parts whenever she took a walk by herself.

It seemed that she had a penchant for getting lost ever since she was a child, and could never be rid of the trait, hard as she might try. Sighing lightly, she looked up at the sky again, watching the sun beginning to set, engulfing the area in near blue darkness. Her skin slowly started to prickle, her gut telling her that maybe this wasn't the best time to visit the park right now and that she ought to go home, instead coming back tomorrow or maybe some days later, when she wouldn't be by herself.

Alice immediately turned around, thinking this a good idea when she suddenly stumbled a few steps back, accidentally bumping into someone. A man with a dirty appearance and rugged clothing looked down at her.

Alice's eyes widened when her gaze met his. She steeled herself, though, and slowly swallowed her dread upon remembering that there were at least some people around the park. Technically speaking, she wasn't alone.

_You think they'd care about a brat like you?_

W-well, it's not as if they're entirely _heartless_.

_They don't like your kind, Alice dear._

But they won't just sit there and let me get mugged, right?

_You think they're scum. Why should scum interfere with people who don't want anything to do with them?_

I don't think they're scum...

_For the moment, at least._

"W-wheere's yooour escoort?" The man suddenly said. His voice was not dangerous or hostile, not whimsical or mischievous. If anything, it was only curious. "A—a faancy girl like you ought to 'av'an escort_—hic_._"_ He said again, and this time, she realized that he was slurring.

Her stomach twisted. Alice looked up at him stiffly, towering over her height_._ "H-he's coming here," She replied hesitantly, wanting to smack herself for stuttering. She forced her voice to be louder. "He's coming here soon!"

"You're, youu're goin' to—_hic—_to meet up wit' each other?" He asked, eyebrow raised.

"Y-yes, that was our agreement..." She uttered slowly, trying to come up with a plan. "I'm... I'm going to my friend's house! Yes! That's why he said he'll pick me up here."

"Huh." The man said, and looked thoughtful for a moment. Alice stared at him desperately, hoping he'd believe it and leave her alone. "You... you—_hic—'_ave a friend 'ere?"

"Yes."

"Een the squalor?"

_You made a mistake._ Alice gulped, trying to shake it off. "Yes."

The man snickered. "Thaaaat's... why, that's noot odd at alllll!" He exclaimed, bursting into laughter. "Do youuu...—_hic—_know where 'er house is?"

Alice panicked. "I... I—"

He laughed again, cutting her off. His breath wafted to her, smelling of alcohol. He slurred when he spoke. "Youuu _can't _bee friends if yoou—_hic—_don't even know where she lives!"

"I'm visiting her for the first time," Alice pressed, almost shouting in her distress. He grabbed her arm suddenly, making her yelp.

"Heeere—_hic—_I'lll, I'll taake you to... to 'er house—_hic—_if youuu tell mee 'err name." He said, offering a kind, lopsided smile, though she knew it to be fake. He was inebriated, _intoxicated_. She resisted from his grasp, desperately trying to pull her arm away from his snake-like grip. "I knooow almost e'ery'one 'ere!" He declared loudly.

"Just let me go!" Alice demanded, hitting him with her bag. The man said nothing, did not hit her or growl at her, and only laughed jubilantly once again. It was the kind of laugh that you'd hear in a friendly, open pub, amongst the other men who toasted and told funny stories, sounding almost genuine and normal.

But it made her heart pound violently in her ears, made her blood rush quickly into her head, terrifying her. He grabbed her other hand then, making it impossible for her to twist out of his grasp.

Alice let out a sharp, defiant cry, panic and anger bubbling inside her chest. "I SAID—!"

"Let her go."

* * *

-X-

You may now shoot me from my epic lateness... It's been one year. GAH. Is there a way to say sorry without sounding like a complete douche? No? *gets shot*

**Okay, well let me make it up to you then. You will be in charge of taking control over a minor (at least it's something, right?) scene in the next chapter by answering the following:**

Do you like cliches?

The scene will be based on the number of votes. **It's a yes or no question. No in betweens, please.** Well, if you do it anyway, I'll count it as an invalid. I'll tell you what the scene is at the end of next chapter too... Hopefully, it won't take me a year... ._.

**Review and alert if you think the story's still worth it **C:


	6. Jack of all trades but a master of none

**Insomnia**

Chapter 6: A jack of all trades but a master of none.  
Notes: You have spoken, and the majority of you said they liked cliches. I was a tad bit surprised.

* * *

Last chapter:

_"Just let me go!" Alice demanded, hitting him with her bag. The man said nothing, did not hit her or growl at her, and only laughed jubilantly once again. It was the kind of laugh that you'd hear in a friendly, open pub, amongst the other men who toasted and told funny stories, sounding almost genuine and normal._

_But it made her heart pound violently in her ears, made her blood rush quickly into her head, terrifying her. He grabbed her other hand then, making it impossible for her to twist out of his grasp._

_Alice let out a sharp, defiant cry, panic and anger bubbling inside her chest. "I SAID—!"_

_"Let her go."_

* * *

The sun moved slowly across the city-scape of London, leaving out trails of golden hues amongst the setting horizon and made it seem as if the whole sky had been lit on fire. Shadows crawled out from behind tall buildings and beneath the gutter, celebrating the oncoming of dusk, and just as once as the burning horizon was finally doused in a matter of a few minutes, darkness seeming to gradually seep out of every corner, engulfing everything in a gray haze, a figure approached, face half-hidden in the dark.

The man's dim, sluggish eyes shifted upon this figure, straining until it made out the form of a boy, somewhat tall, with a paper-boy hat that hid all of his hair and concealed the upper part of his face.

The man opened his mouth, words slurring at the boy's sudden appearance. "Whoo... who are you? —_h____ic_—I-I haven't seen you 'ere before."

_Alice's_ eyes widened upon recognition of the familiar figure, and she turned, chest heaving as she stared in astonishment. Her face scrunched together as the brewing pot of wild emotions spilled, and suddenly, droplets of tears rolled down the girl's cheeks, fear and anger dissipating to be replaced with an immediate sense of relief washing over her body. Her face gradually relaxed, and the girl closed her eyes briefly, looking up and whispering something, before staring intently at the boy in front of her with wide, glistening eyes.

"You came...?" Alice said softly.

Cat glanced at her through the corners of his eyes, staring at the hard knots between her brows and her trembling lips, though said nothing, and instead, his attention became fixated upon the man.

"You... you wouldn't—___hic_—'appen to... to be...—___hic_—... Edna's son, would you?" The man addressed. He swayed and turned, trying to make the double image of the boy converge together in his drunken stupor.

"No. You wouldn't happen to be deaf, would you?" The boy replied testily.

Upon the boy's answer, the man's eyes widened, as if astounded upon the boy's lack of mannerisms, though he merely clicked his tongue and then suddenly laughed. "What an attitude you 'ave! —_hic—_" He turned to Alice, smiling, his putrid alcohol breath wafting around her. "Is.. is this your escort? Seems like he grew up 'ere —_hic—_"

Alice only frowned upon the smell of his breath and tried to shift away, straining against his grip, though the movement only caused the man to pull her back forcedly with a sharp jerk, causing the girl to let out a cry. Cat's jaw set tight, momentarily loosing his detachment.

"I won't repeat myself twice." The boy hissed, fingers clenching.

"—_hic_— Is, is thaat a threat?" The man gave a dry laugh. "You're not 'er escort, you're scum just like the rest o' us. So why don't you just go about your business a-and—_hic— _h—hey, wh-what're you doi— h-_hic_-hey!" The man's eyes widened as unseen fingers suddenly fastened around his wrist in a vise-like grip. "W-what're you doing!_"_

Cat's grip only tightened in response, pulling the man to his level in one vigorous tug. They stared at each other, eye to eye, and the man broke from his stance, something akin to fear and apprehension entering his features.

Golden eyes narrowed ominously into slits. The man peered closer, unable to break away from the boy's daunting gaze. Together with his drunken stupor, the refracting rays of the sun caused tricks of light to play in the man's perception, making the freakish yellow hue of the boy's eyes remind him of something dark and foreboding. Chills suddenly crept down his spine as he felt a damp breeze upon his neck.

Immediately becoming perturbed at the eerie sight before him, the man's voice took a shaky note. "Y-your eyes... w-what are you... ?" He rasped. The man's hold on Alice began to tremble.

The sun had finally set between the western landscape, omitting the light from the horizon. The evening night had come in, like a gray curtain that fell amongst the city. The smog that occupied London trapped any sort of light from entering the streets. There were no stars that twinkled, nor any moonlight that lent its grace to the bottom-dwellers. The only light that shone came from the dull glow of the gas-lamps nearby, which flickered on by themselves.

The ringing of the church bells made itself heard, echoing hollowly in the distance, and as the environment rapidly changed around them, from that of the cool dusk to a desolate night enveloped in haze, the boy turned his attention from the church bells and once again fixed his gaze upon the man.

The church bells stopped ringing, and with it, the symphony of the creatures at night was silenced. An eerie calm overtook the park.

"Looks like there's no one around," Cat remarked in a hoarse whisper. For a second, the man thought that the boy smiled at him, and all at once, a jolt of terror shot through him.

_This boy... and his eyes...! They... they were—!_

"D-devil!" The man sputtered, immediately clammoring back and releasing Alice.

Cat made a move to draw closer, reaching towards the girl, though it served to startle the man even further. In a state of panic and fright, the man's face twisted, and he hurriedly retracted his hand, formed it into a clenched fist, and with frenzied force swiftly connected it straight unto the boy's face.

Alice gasped, her hands flying to her mouth in horror.

The boy instantly stumbled backwards.

Cat promptly released his grip around the man's wrist, his hand wrapping around his own face. A moment of stunned silence passed as the lucid sting of pain registered in his brain, causing a slight brief of disorientation to wash over him. A high-pitched ringing resonated in his ears and a few drops of blood started to dribble from his nose, beading out from the expanses between his fingers and down to the pavement.

His eyes were wide as he stared at the blood in disbelief.

Alice's voice reached his ears faintly. "... C.. Cat, a-are you alright...?" She called in a quiet, shaky tone. Tears collected around the corner of her lashes, threatening to fall.

Cat did not reply. His body felt stiff; the stark red color of the blood against the cold, gray cement motioned him into numbed silence.

He... he did not recognize this experience. He did not recognize this feeling.. this feeling of being so _disgustingly _human. Flesh and bones and utterly _vulnerable— _the same as everyone else.

"D-don't come near me!" The man shouted threateningly, though his voice trembled as he retreated back, half in fear and half in suspense at what he had just done. "I.. I'm not afraid to do it again.. I-I'm not afraid of you.. a-after all, y-you're just—"

Alice began to weep. "Cat—..?"

___He..._

"— y-you're just a boy!"

The taste of red copper running down his lips caught him in attention.

Cat looked up.

___He never bled before._

Almost immediately— hot, searing anger rushed over him like the waves of the sea plunging upon the shore.

_How.. how _dare _t__his, this.. menial, piece of trash—_

The boy's hand flew upon instinct, gripping the man's neck until veins had sprouted like roots of trees along his arm. Black pupils constricted into slits amidst piercing yellow irises. An expression of venomous hostility took over the boy's features.

The man made out strangled noises as he tried to speak, though the words became asphyxiated as the grip upon his throat tightened. Clammy fingers attempted to reach out to the boy, to his neck, to suffocate it as well, though it failed in vain as Cat's fingers pressed tighter, and the man's face grew pale from the restriction of blood-flow. Desperate, his hands fell back upon his neck, trying to pry off the boy's cold grip, eyes wide and watery as a mixture of bewilderment and fear overcame his countenance.

"Cat!" Alice instantly shrieked. Forgotten tears cast down her cheeks as she ran to the boy's side, promptly trying to pull his arms away. "No!"

___He had... never... bled before._

Cat's eyes only narrowed.

The man sputtered out. ".. S-stop..."

"C-Cat! He, he'll die! _Stop it!_" Alice pulled, though she paused briefly when she felt a sharp pain suddenly throb in her head.

"P-please..." The man begged desperately. Their eyes bore into each other's. Cat stared at him with cold apathy. "Ple...—please—"

His grip tightened.

"Cat..." Alice called.

His nails dug into the man's skin. Deeper and deeper.

___He never bled._

"Stop .. —"

___Never._

Alice's eyes began to droop, and she staggered back, ceasing momentarily as she clutched her head and the world around her began to spin. "Wha—" The girl murmured in confusion, vision becoming blurry. Everything suddenly felt heavy, and her movements falterered as she tried to wipe her face, trying to make sense of things, though when she drew her hand back, her vision met with red.

There was a heavy thud as Alice suddenly dropped to the ground.

The sound broke through Cat's reverie, and when he turned, he saw the girl's face smeared with blood.

"Shit." The boy hissed, eyes wide with alarm. He immediately let go of the man's neck, pushing him off as he ran to the girl, and the man fell to the earth, coughing and spluttering violently as he tried to catch his breath. The boy only looked over his shoulders to regard him, face now slipping into an expressionless mask.

"Leave," Cat called, not turning around.

"T-thank you," The man stuttered, and scrambled to get up, wild footsteps stomping against the earth as he retreated into the distance.

As the man left, the boy knelt down near the unconscious girl, carefully slipping a hand beneath the back of her head and propping it against his leg. With watchful eyes, he scrutinized the blood that dribbled down from her nose, almost indistinguishable from the red smear that stained her face, and concluded that it had been a consequence from when the man hit him. With a more delicately built frame, she had been unable to take it and had instantly collapsed.

Gingerly pulling the strands of blonde hair away from the girl's neck, and cautiously slipping his other hand to scoop her legs, the boy lifted the girl's body from the ground, cursing a bit as he tried to adjust her weight, and disappeared into the night.

* * *

There was smoke all around.

Alice's eyes watered, and she made a move to cover her mouth, though she had already begun to cough intensely, and with each round, her chest shook until it hurt to even breathe. She tried to look deep into the mist, to see past the smoke, though there was nothing. The smoke clouded around her, enveloping her in its arms until she fell to the ground, coughing, eyes watering from the sting of the gas.

"H-help!" The girl gasped out. There was nothing, except for the mock echoing of her voice. A sense of hopelessless began to build in her, though suddenly, a string of giggles made itself heard. Chills crawled down Alice's spine as she looked about her, trying to make out the sound.

"I.. is there someone there?" She called out half-heartedly. Her voice reverberated, echoing her own, though a giggle followed again.

"Who are you!?" Alice shouted this time, trying to discard the rising trepidation in her stomach.

"Who are you?" It mocked, and this time, a song followed the giggle that came after. "_'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves! All mimsy were the borogoves, and the momeraths out—"_

"Show yourself!" The girl screamed, feigning courage. There was nothing for a few seconds, and then, a ring of laughter— though this time, it sounded like a male's voice. It laughed at her snidely, just as a figure started to form from the shadows.

Alice screamed.

* * *

The girl awoke to the feeling of something covering her face, though as her eyes opened, she only saw darkness.

She instantly sat up, being reminded of her dream and the feeling of being suffocated. A towel dropped to her chest, which heaved from the shot of panic that flushed through her. Cold sweat glistened on her forehead.

The sound of a page rustling nearby caught her attention, and the girl turned to see a figure with salmon-pink hair sitting by her bedside, his glowing, yellow eyes cast down over a book.

"Cat," The girl breathed in relief, touching her chest. The said boy looked up. "What happened?" She inquired, a lost expression decorating her features as she rubbed her temple, trying to recall the past few hours. "And why is there a towel covering my face?"

Cat merely shrugged. "I got lazy."

"Lazy from what?"

"You're quite a bleeder." The boy said casually.

"What are you... " Alice paused, and it was at that moment that she took notice of the red stains on his clothes, particularly around his shoulder-blade.

Her hand immediately reached out to hover above her face, fighting to quell the rising terror which showed itself on her expression. The boy halted in his actions, looking up as Alice suddenly scrambled towards her bedside table and extracted a mirror from the drawers.

She appraised her reflection in the dark, and then gasped in horror as she saw it. The monstrosity. He spoke the truth; she was indeed quite the bleeder. Dried blood was caked around the bottom-half of her face, especially around her nose. Alice winced at her reflection considerably. Though her black eye was beginning to heal just when she started to forget about it, it— together with her bleeding nose— were quite the appalling sight to behold.

Cringing away, Alice's lips began to tremble. Feeling the tears gather around her eyes, she immediately flicked them off, mousy blonde tresses falling around her face like a shield as her fingers became stained with the salty droplets that now cascaded down her cheeks. No whimper emanated from the girl, however, as she bit her lip and clenched her jaw. Occasionally, there would be the sound of a soft gasp, as if she had been deprived of oxygen.

"Does it hurt?" The boy called.

"... n.. no."

Cat found that he had to strain his ear just to distinguish her blubbering from her sobs.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I-I'm not crying." Alice said defiantly, furiously wiping her watery eyes with the back of her hands. Though when their gazes met, her sob grew louder, as if it had been suddenly offset by the look which he gave her.

"I—I.. I'm not crying."

"I'm—I'm n-not crying." The blonde wept, and her tears flowed forth.

"I... I-I'm not... I'm not..." Her hands rose to cover her face, and she drew a sharp breath, shaking. "... I.. I just thought, that I.. I was already so hideous before."

"It's just an injury." The boy muttered.

Alice ignored him. She stared at her reflection more intently, scrutinizing the blood which marred her dainty features with furrowed brows and an ugly scowl. Then, she closed her eyes, biting her lip and willing herself to calm down. "What happened, Cat?"

"You fainted."

"Yes— but I mean, why... why am I like this?" Her voice came in a surprisingly detached tone, yet it possessed a hitch which told him that her calmness was of forced control.

"Shouldn't you be telling me that?"

"Don't condescend me!" The girl suddenly yelled. Her eyes snapped open wildly, like the ignition of fire, but there it was— the agitation, the turmoil, and the unfairness of it all, going back and showing its presence by the release of hot tears which rolled down her face. Alice's head turned rapidly, as if she didn't want to be seen crying, though it already happened on multiple occasions. Her jaw was taut in an effort to control her emotions; everything in her body was stiff and rigid, save for her lips, which trembled, and her shoulders, which shook every so often after she became tired of being wound so tightly.

A few minutes passed in silence. Cat had to strain his neck, though it became clear that there were sounds of small whimpers that came from the girl.

"You don't understand." She muttered bitterly, after a while. "I feel like some sort of trapped bird in a cage, beating its wings and trying desperately to escape this— this tower of self-loathing and self-deprecation, but its all in vain." And here, she started to sob once again, drawing her knees closer to her as she hid her face in them. "I can never escape, because it's my cage. I will always be hideous."

Cat said nothing.

"I'm so pathetic!" Alice then screamed. She suddenly threw her mirror to the floor, which shattered into little pieces. The girl then swatted the towel from the bed and began to furiously wipe the skin of her face, as if she could erase the deformities which marred her it, as if she could erase the painful memories and the injuries that it had caused to her self-esteem. The feeling of entrapment took a grip on her, like stacks of bricks upon a wall: claustrophobic and inescapable, encompassing her all around with its looming sense of worthlessness, and with that, the rubbing motion of her hand intensified. Angry growls emanated from the back of her throat, and she gritted her teeth, blinking incessantly to bitterly stave off the fresh tears which threatened to collapse.

But soon, the tears did fall, and the girl sobbed furiously. She desperately wanted to hit something.

"Alice," Cat called.

She did not stop.

"Alice—"

She refused.

"Listen to me," The boy scowled, moving towards the bed and catching her arms. She tried to break away, refusing to look at him until he held her face up and made her gaze up into his eyes, its electrifying color snapping her to attention.

"Stop acting like a brat." He spat, giving her a stern look.

Alice growled in return, and only continued to struggle in his grasp. When that didn't work, she swatted at his chest with small, wild fists, hitting him and hitting him until adrenaline coursed through her veins, reddening her cheeks and livening her face and it— it felt good, it felt so terribly good that for the moment, she felt no remorse or repugnance for her uncouth and barbaric actions.

She put all the rage that she felt in her body into it— her anger towards her unrelenting society, her school, her tormentors, her apathetic parents, and most of all, how she had allowed herself to be treated so miserably until it ate away into her own psyche, forcing her to the point of submissiveness until she suffocated under all the pressures and expectations. She channeled this, all of her fury and frustration, with small clenched fists, landing upon the boy's chest like the beating of a drum, and every time she hit him, face scrunched in anger and eyes wide with tears, he merely stared back at her, unflinching, doing nothing in retaliation, as if he could read into her mind. Alice only grew angrier upon his lack of response and hit harder, until she finally collapsed on his chest, crying bitter tears as she buried her face into the warmth of his shirt and curled up into his side, like a child that had now finished its tantrum and desperately wanted to seek comfort.

Cat let her stay like this for some minutes, not speaking a word, nor judging, as he felt the wet tears of the girl permeate through his cloth. He dared not touch her, afraid that it would break the quiet trance that the girl was in, and in turn, her fragile recuperation. She was in a state of such vulnerability, having just let her emotions spill out like a flooded lake, and now, she wallowed in her own released toxins, with only her insecurity for a floatation device.

He felt hiccups resonate in her chest, felt the girl sniff and shift positions slightly, rubbing her eyes on the nook of his shoulder, which he lightly frowned at, though again, did not comment upon. A few more minutes passed, and he felt the rhythm of her breath change, slowly rising and falling as he determined that the girl had drifted off to sleep.

_Finally_. The boy sighed, closing his eyes briefly and rubbing his face, before opening them again and stretching out his hand, careful not to stir the girl, as he retrieved the book which had been cast to the side; though, he paused when he heard soft murmurs coming from the girl's half-parted lips, sounding like nonsensical gibberings.

".. did gyre and gimble... waves... borogroves... outgabe."

She turned to the side suddenly, startling him a little, and her brows furrowed, hands writhing as if she were battling some sort of nightmare.

It was then that Cat realized.

The boy pursed his lips, and snapped the book shut.

* * *

The chain had been set off.

He did not sleep that night. He sat by the chair next to the bed, having moved the girl inside the covers, watching her as she tossed and turned about restlessly, waiting, waiting, waiting and waiting until—

The girl suddenly shot up, screaming.

Cat merely watched as Alice began to thrash about, convulsing in her bed as her limbs began to spasm wildly. The girl shrieked once again in an unrelenting pitch, wailing from the searing pain that rippled through her every nerve. Dendrites and terminal branches felt like they were exploding inside her, like volcano lava erupting from the Earth, the pain cutting through her mind like nails on a chalkboard. Her voice soon became raw and hoarse from the high-pitched screams that her gasping lungs emitted, though the boy remained unaffected, and and merely continued watching.

Her _loving _parents were deep asleep, their room being situated on the middle of the staircase while hers was to the far left. Her _loyal _maids also laid in slumber, in too deep below the heavy wooden staircase and far too exhausted to indulge in their madame's whim.

She was unheard of, save for one soul. And he did not seem to pay any heed, merely continuing to stare at her writhe in pain.

The center of her head felt like it was splitting apart. Alice's vision blurred, her surroundings blacking out as she felt something pierce through her skull.

Cat's eyes narrowed.

A hand materialized.

So one of them had found the exit.

"I see."

* * *

A/N: Almost three years since I last updated, but not quite. You have no idea how much of a bitch this story is to write, but it is secretly my guilty pleasure. I think I was in over my head when I first thought of the plot lol.

Oh well.

Here you go lovelies, sorry I took so long. I'll try not to make you wait again for almost three years. At the meantime, I hope this met your fancies c:


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